I couldn’t be sure. During my frequent calls to Horatio, he had reassured me that Hamlet would calm down eventually. It had been three very long days.
“Heavens,” she said, checking that her pearl necklace was in place for, like, the hundredth time. Her face was lined with worry and showed more vulnerability than I could remember seeing. I didn’t like the idea of this wedding, but it had to suck to have your son be so pissed that he wouldn’t even show up or talk to you, and to know that much of the kingdom was judging the whole thing. I kind of felt sorry for her.
News stations from around the world covered the wedding. Funerals brought out reporters for the macabre spectacle, vultures hoping to catch a breakdown or at least a tear. On the other hand, weddings brought out the cheerful, envious public, thousands who were seemingly unconcerned about the scandal and were just hoping to see something pretty and to dream of what it would be like to ride to a wedding in a carriage.
A horse-drawn carriage might seem romantic, but it’s really slow, which did not suit my mood. I guess the slow pace is the point if you’re a queen who wants to be noticed in all of her matrimonial glory. At least Gertrude had the good taste not to wear a big white gown. I had honestly thought she would skip the whole thing, get it done privately, but neither she nor Claudius would hear of it.
“The public likes its shows. And after the sadness that has befallen us lately, it would seem we owe it to them,” he declared.
I was also amazed at how quickly such a large event could be put on. Every party planner and caterer had been mobilized, and the results were fairly spectacular, though I found the scale of this dubious second wedding vulgar nevertheless.
The carriage door opened, and a footman with gold fringe jangling from his shoulder pads and cuffs held his hand out for me. I stepped carefully down the petite stairs, holding the full silk skirt with my free hand to keep from tripping. The crowd squealed in anticipation, and a thousand flashbulbs went off. I hadn’t had a choice in the style of shoes, nor had I had a chance to break them in, so my peach-colored heels pinched with each step. I hoped my grimace appeared to be more of a smile.
I stepped forward, and Stormy Somerville, wearing a tight pink suit, thrust a microphone in front of my face. “Isn’t this thrilling?” she gushed.
Hoping Hamlet wasn’t watching, I gave the answer I’d been ordered to give. “What a wonderful day for us all.” I moved forward and winced as the skin of one heel peeled away.
Gertrude stepped down next, holding the train of her demure cream gown. She raised her head and one hand in a practiced gesture of welcome to her subjects. I had seen it so many times, as had the crowd, but they shouted as if it were the first time. I’m fairly certain I rolled my eyes.
We trudged up the steps and, upon reaching the top, I gaped at the aisle that ran the length of the cathedral. We had practiced walking it the night before, but it suddenly looked much, much longer.
To distract myself, I fantasized about the wedding I might have with Hamlet. I tried to picture walking down this very aisle in a flowing white gown, my father holding my arm. Hamlet would be waiting for me, his blond hair sparkling in the glow from the stained-glass windows. Horatio would be standing next to him, smiling broadly, and maybe Lauren, if she didn’t get sick of my disappearing acts, would be a bridesmaid. I would never make her wear peach. Or pinchy shoes. But the crowd would be there and that bummed me out. If only we could do it quietly, do it somewhere else.
I don’t want a public life. The thought came suddenly and filled me with horror. My legs went weak and I wasn’t sure I could make it to the end of the aisle. I don’t want this. I just want Hamlet. I tried to breathe while keeping my face neutral. The skin on my other heel ripped.
Horatio smiled at me as I passed. I couldn’t return the smile, and his faded.
I walked up the few steps of the altar and turned to the crowd. I started to calculate. There must have been