getting molested by a vampire in a flasher raincoat who smells like graveyards? Try me."
"I could open a portal," Claire said. "But I've never been to the radio station, so I can't risk doing it blind. I have to go someplace close that I know. What's around it?"
"Hang on a second," Shane said, and dropped the weapons bag to the wood floor with a thump. "What about Ada? You said she was out for blood, right?"
"I said you wouldn't like the idea."
"So just to recap - Ada wants to kill you, and you're going to walk through a portal she controls?"
"Well - "
"No, Claire. Next."
"But - "
"Not happening."
She sighed. "What if I get Myrnin to open it for us? He's better at it. I don't think she dares mess with him directly."
"And tell Myrnin what's happening? Bad idea. The dude is half crazy all the time."
"So what's your bright idea?" Claire asked. Shane spread his hands out. "That's what I thought."
She pulled her cell phone out and checked the screen. Her battery was getting low; she hadn't had a chance to charge it up recently, although that was Morganville Survival 101. She picked up the old-fashioned landline phone on the hall table and dialed Myrnin's lab.
It rang, and rang, and rang, and finally, Myrnin picked up. "What?" he snapped. "I was in the middle of dinner."
Claire was afraid to ask who that was. "I need help," she said.
"Claire, you are my assistant. Not the other way around. Perhaps it would be helpful if I prepared an organizational chart you could keep on your person. Possibly tattooed on your arm."
He was in a mood. Claire bit her lip. "Please," she said. "It's a little favor."
"Oh, all right. What?"
"You know the old radio station outside of town? KV - " Her mind blanked. She looked at Eve, who mouthed the answer. "KVVV. Could you open me a portal?"
"Hmmm," he said. She heard the sound of liquid being poured in the background, and him swallowing it, and him smacking his lips. "Well, I suppose I could get you close, if not inside the building. Would that do?"
"Sure. Anything."
"And why can you not do this yourself?"
"Ada . . . ?"
Myrnin was silent for a long few seconds. "She's better," he said. "I don't know what got into the old girl. But I've had a talk with her, and really, she's much better now. Much better."
"That's good." It would be, if it were true, but Claire didn't trust Myrnin's judgment when it came to Ada. "Um, about that portal - "
"Yes, fine, coming right up. I will be there in a moment."
"No, Myrnin - "
He hung up before she could explain that she didn't actually need him to come along. Not that he was going to listen to her, anyway. Claire replaced the phone on its cradle.
"Crazy boss is coming," Shane interpreted, just from the expression on her face. "Lovely. This ought to be fun."
About five seconds later, Claire felt a psychic wave sweep through the house, so strong she was surprised neither Shane nor Eve seemed to feel it, and then a dark opening formed in the far wall of the living room, and Myrnin stepped over the threshold.
"I so want his wardrobe," Eve sighed. "Is that shallow, or just strange?"
"Don't sell yourself short. It's both," Shane said, and cocked his head to take in Myrnin's latest effort at blending in. It was . . . interesting. Claire couldn't decide if it was some deliberate, unholy mix of Victorian lord and hippie, or just what had been on the floor of his closet.
He had on his bunny slippers.
These had fangs.
They all stared at them in silence for about a heartbeat, and then Shane said, "That is impressively wicked. Crazy, but wicked."
Myrnin frowned at him, then looked down at his shoes. He seemed genuinely surprised. "Oh. Those. I thought - well, they're appropriate, I suppose."
"Wouldn't want to be inappropriate," Claire said. "You really didn't have to come. I'm sorry."
"I did, in fact. I tried to open the portal to the radio station, and I couldn't do so." Myrnin's dark eyes were wide and gleaming, clearly fascinated. "Claire, do you know what this means?" He paced, the bunny slippers flopping their ears in a very distracting way. "Someone locked down the area. And it wasn't me."
"Who else could?"
"No one."
"But - "
"Exactly!" He smacked his hands together in glee. "A mystery! Thank you for calling and imposing on me for a favor; this is very exciting stuff,