his arm, and she gripped it as if he were the only thing holding her upright.
She touched him. And even with the layers of his armor and his clothing between them, it felt as though she’d wrapped her fingers around his heart.
As if she’d taken a sledgehammer to the ice that encased it.
It was in this moment, when the walls of his indifference were at their weakest, that he needed them the most. Needed to prevent her from burrowing any deeper into his care and his concern.
But thanks to the bond neither of them asked for, he could not escape from her. Nor could he deny his own reactions to her.
He could only continue to move forward, neither giving nor taking, and dreading the future more with each step he took.
Chapter 19
Leisa walked the halls at the Raven’s side, her mind blank, feeling as though she were living a nightmare, and any moment would awake to find herself in her bed. In Farhall. Rising to face another day as Princess Evaraine’s bodyguard.
But no. She had only to clench her fingers and feel the iron of the Raven’s arm beneath them to know that this was no dream. Zander had been caught and accused. King Melger had at last found a way to force them to accept his heinous treaty and left no way out that did not involve war.
And it was her own fault.
She should never have asked Zander to act as a spy. He was no more trained for it than she was. But what choice had she been given? She knew this alliance was a mistake, but King Soren was too desperate. He would never accept half measures or half-hearted assurances, so she’d needed proof.
Now, all she had was certainty that Farhall’s destruction could be laid at her door.
If only there were anyone she could ask for help. Advice. Or just a listening ear. But there was no one to trust. The enigmatic man at her side was not her ally.
Neither was he her enemy, she’d concluded. There had been far too many times he could have betrayed her and didn’t. But he had made it clear that she could not trust him, no matter how badly she wanted to. Something told her that he could bear the weight of mountains, were he free of Melger’s chains.
But neither of them were free.
When they reached her rooms, Leisa removed her hand from his arm and reached up to touch the gem around her neck.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “Whatever happens now, know that I do not blame you.”
You must never trust me.
“I know,” she told him. “Whatever you may believe, I do understand. I wish I could break whatever chains he uses to hold you, but now I cannot even break my own.”
The Raven was silent.
“I’m going to make a request, though I understand if you cannot grant it. Will you stand guard outside my rooms until morning? No matter what?”
I have been commanded to return you to your rooms.
She smiled, wondering how it could be that they somehow understood one another. “Thank you.”
And then she left him standing in the hallway, wondering as she did so whether that was the last time she would be allowed to consider him a friend.
Lady Piperell fussed over Leisa for what seemed an interminable half-hour before returning to her own chamber. Once she was gone, Leisa wasted no time changing both her clothes and her face. Armed with dagger, rope, and lock-picks, she left the gem behind and slipped out her window, back through the palace, silent and pale as a ghost.
The guards were more alert than usual, but these guards were probably more concerned with people sneaking out than sneaking in. Leisa had little difficulty returning to Zander’s cell, and found the captain of her guard slumped against the wall, eyes closed, grimacing in pain.
She was so concerned she almost forgot to change.
It took a moment with the pocket mirror King Soren had given her, but her face was very shortly Evaraine’s once more.
Then she approached the bars.
“Zander!” she hissed.
His eyes opened, and his head jerked in her direction.
“Your Highness!” His whisper was a hoarse, shocked sound of protest. “You cannot be here! What are you thinking? If they catch you, they may throw you in alongside me!”
“They won’t catch me,” she soothed. “Zander, I’m going to do everything I can for you, but first, I need to know what you learned.”
His eyes closed again. “You were right, Your Highness. I