His head hurt, and his thoughts were racing. He was exhausted, and his skin was thrumming. “It won’t happen again.”
“See that it doesn’t,” Cap said, though he sounded amused.
“Am I going to be charged with anything?”
“Nah,” Cap said. “I figure the way you smell probably is enough punishment, don’t you?”
“For sure. Maybe you can tell Dad that too. See what he thinks.”
Cap laughed. “Sorry, kid. I think I’ll leave that between the two of you.” He stood, grunting as his knees popped. “Sit tight. We’ll get you home soon.” He went to the door, but before he opened it, he looked over his shoulder back at his prisoner. “He loves you, you know?”
Nick didn’t raise his head. He blinked rapidly against his arm. “He asked me why I had to be the way I am.”
“We say things we don’t mean, Nick. All the time. I know it can be hard after everything you’ve both been through. But he loves you more than you could ever know. And you need to remember that, okay? He may yell a little, but it’s a cop’s worst nightmare to hear the name of their loved one coming in over the radio. You scared him. So you let him yell, you let him ground you, and while you do that, remember that he loves you, and he’s so relieved you’re safe.”
Nick didn’t speak as Cap left, closing the door behind him.
* * *
Ten minutes later, the door opened again. Nick raised his head to see Dad standing in the doorway in his uniform. The look on his face didn’t bode well for Nick.
“Get up,” Dad said, and Nick moved quickly. The cheap flip-flops he’d been given after he’d arrived at the precinct slapped against the floor. Dad’s nose wrinkled as Nick got closer, making Nick feel more miserable. Dad didn’t move out of the doorway, so Nick stopped in front of him, averting his gaze. He bounced slightly on his knees. He couldn’t help it. He should have taken the Concentra.
“You’re grounded,” Dad said, and Nick winced at the anger in his voice. “You’ll go to school during the week, and then you’ll come right home and do your homework. No friends. No internet unless it’s for school. On the weekends, you’ll have a list of chores to keep you busy. There’s no timeline for this. It’ll go on for as long as I think is necessary. Do you understand me?”
Nick nodded but didn’t speak. Nothing he could say could fix this.
“I’m keeping your phone too. You won’t need it—”
And there it was. There was the panic that had been simmering at an increasing level ever since he managed to pull himself from the Westfield River to the sound of approaching sirens, the fishermen on the dock farther down the way still staring at him. There was the panic that he’d tried his best to swallow down.
It should have been nothing. Nick had made a stupid mistake, sure. He’d made many stupid mistakes. He should have taken the pills when they’d been given to him. He shouldn’t have jumped into the river. He shouldn’t have spent thirty-seven dollars plus shipping on a ring from a drag queen.
And he should have been someone who his dad could be proud of. That way, Dad wouldn’t have had to ask why Nick was the way he was, as if he hadn’t been trying his damnedest to become someone different, to become someone better. Someone Extraordinary.
Maybe if Nick had been an Extraordinary to begin with, none of this would have happened. But he wasn’t, and here they were.
Dad was trying to take his phone away, and Nick couldn’t breathe.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he heard his dad say through the storm in his head. “Nicky, breathe. Come on—holy shit, the smell—breathe, kiddo. Just breathe with me, okay? I need you to listen to me. Listen to the sound of my voice.” Nick felt a big hand press against his chest, familiar and safe and warm, and he latched onto it as best he could, struggling to fill his lungs. “In, Nicky. In with me. Breathe in, one. Two. Three. Hold it. Hold it. And out. One. Two. Three. There you go. That’s better. Again. In.”
Nick breathed. It hurt, and his heart felt like it was rattling around in his chest and throat, but he breathed. The storm began to clear, leaving the ache right behind his eyes.
Dad stood in front of him looking concerned, hand still pressed against Nick’s chest. Nick