over the vehicle. And I stopped measuring you against my father practically right from the start, because you’re nothing like him. Nothing at all.” She sighed. “So why does the idea of getting married still sort of freak me out?”
Zach moved his hands from her feet to slowly run them down her arms, over the crisscrossing of scars. She’d started cutting herself as a teenager after she found out the father she’d always adored had been cheating on her mother for their entire marriage. Heather was strong, confident, and sassy—yet Zach knew she still felt phantom pain sometimes when she had to deal with her father.
“Some scars run deep. So deep that even when we think they’re healed, they might not be. Not completely.” Zach held her gaze as he prepared to admit to his own scars that were still healing. “I can’t help but think about my dad tonight. I’ve been thinking about him more and more since we got engaged. Since I found out I’m going to be a father myself.”
She lifted her hand to his cheek, which was covered with the hair his superstitious race crew insisted he keep from shaving off. Fortunately, Heather seemed to like it when he got scruffy. “Do you still worry that you’re going to follow in his footsteps?”
His father, Jack, died of an aneurysm when Zach was seven. Out of all eight kids, Zach was the one who looked the most, and acted the most, like his father, so he’d grown up believing that he wouldn’t see past forty-eight either. This was why Zach had never planned to fall in love—because he hadn’t thought he could count on tomorrow. It was also why he’d gone for speed his whole life, to experience as much as he could before it was over.
But then he’d met Heather. And everything he’d once believed to be true had been flipped upside down and inside out. In all the best possible ways.
Which was why he couldn’t lie to her tonight, and would never want to even if he could. For thirty years he’d held his pain and fear over losing his father inside. Held it inside until Heather had made him feel safe—and loved—enough to confess it all.
“Sometimes I do still worry,” he admitted. “Especially around the anniversary of his passing—or when we have big family events. Which,” he added with a small smile, “seem like they happen twice a month depending on the birthday-baby-wedding schedule for the year.”
“Three years ago,” Heather said, “those worries were why you tried to hold back from me. So if you’re still scared sometimes, how do you keep yourself from holding back now? Because I never feel that you are. Even when you’re telling me that your scars haven’t gone away completely, you’re not at all scared about promising me forever tomorrow, are you?”
“Falling in love with you—that was the biggest thing that made the worries fade at first.” He pulled her on to his lap. “I couldn’t imagine a world in which I’d ever be able to give you up. Even if I knew for sure that I wasn’t going to make it past the next five years, I realized I’d still be the selfish bastard who had to have you.” He kissed her for emphasis…and also because he couldn’t resist the pull of her sweet mouth. “And ever since then, knowing I’m not indestructible or bulletproof has been a good reminder to live every single day to the fullest. With you.”
“I love you.” She lowered her head to his shoulder. “I’m sorry I’m being weird tonight.”
“You’re not being weird. You’re being honest, and I love you even more because you’re not afraid to tell me what you’re feeling. Fortunately, I happened to prepare a few bad dog jokes in case we needed them. Want to hear them?”
She lifted her head to look at him, and he was glad to see her mouth quirk up on the side. “I know you’ll be bursting to tell them to me all night if you don’t get them out now.”
“What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?”
“Honestly, I’m scared to even guess.”
He grinned. “A cat-has-trophy.”
She shook her head. “That’s just awful.”
“I try.” He gave her another quick kiss. “What kind of dog does Dracula have?”
She leaned back into him and mumbled the answer against his neck.
“Did you just say bloodhound?” He stroked his hand down her back as she nodded. “You’ve been secretly reading my joke book, haven’t