Evermore Academy (Evermore Academy #3) - Audrey Grey Page 0,85
but he catches that too. Holding my furious gaze, he drags me to his lap, water sloshing over the side and mixing with the blood pooling the tile.
I squirm, clawing and elbowing, my pulse racing out of control. The pain of almost losing him is too much, the emotions clawing out of me like a monster.
Those cool, muscular arms hold me, a cage of ice and muscle and power.
He holds me while I thrash.
He holds me while I sob.
All the while murmuring over and over, “I’m sorry.”
I don’t know how long it takes for the fight to leave me. Eyes swollen and chest heaving, I still against him. Feel the last of my rage ebb.
My head pounds, and I let it relax against his shoulder. “If you ever do that to me again,” I whisper, “I’ll sever the bond. Do you understand?”
He tilts his head so that his face is visible. Wet, with the soft moonlight filtering in, his hair is a deep, rich black. Water and blood drips from the ends. In his eyes is a love so raw, so powerful that I fight the urge to look away.
“I understand.”
I nod, then, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“That you felt you had to go through that to deal with your pain. That you felt like you couldn’t come to me instead.”
Cool minty air rolls over my eyelids as he kisses my forehead. “I told you I would always protect you, even if that means shielding you from my tragic, fucked up past.”
“Stop treating me like I can’t handle it. I’m tougher than I look.”
A dark chuckle vibrates his chest. “I noticed. Watching you destroy those Summer clowns was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
He’s still holding me in his lap like a child, but his hands have loosened their grip and begun exploring my body. I watch one hand trail over my thigh, massaging the tight muscles, and marvel at the way my corded flesh loosens beneath his expert touch.
“No,” I grind out, grabbing his wrist. “You can’t smooth this over with . . . whatever you’re doing with your hand.”
He arches a wicked brow. “You want me to stop?”
No. Of course I don’t, and he knows that.
My body aches for him to continue. To take this further. But I’m still pissed, and letting him pleasure me to get around dealing with hard issues is a bad precedent to set, even if part of me thinks it’s a wonderful idea.
“What I want?” I glare at him. “I want you to say you’ll stop trying to carry your pain alone. That if it ever gets that bad again, you’ll come to me, your mate, instead of hurting yourself.”
An indecipherable emotion flickers over his face. I can tell he wants to retreat behind his armor. Wants to deflect again.
Instead, he bravely holds my stare as he lets down the walls to the nightmarish agony beneath. The affliction inside those ice-blue depths is startling. The torment and confusion a stormy sea that would eventually capsize even the strongest boats.
“Is this what you want to experience?” he demands through gritted teeth, darkness and bitter rage shooting down the bond. “Do you really want to know how it feels to hate your mother. To suffer the exquisite pain of abandonment for countless years, to wish the only person who ever showed me true love dead, only to realize I made a mistake?”
His pain seeps into me like poison. What he’s sharing is only a whisper of what he feels, and yet the intensity makes it hard to draw in a breath.
“Yes.” I slide my hand over his. “I want all of you, Valerian Sylverfrost. The good, the bad, the dark and shameful. All of you—or none of you.”
“She wrote to me,” he rasps. “Every day for years I received a letter from her begging my forgiveness. And every evening I answered her long, pleading letters with five words. Five. You are dead to me. Are you sure you want that in your life, Summer? A mate who could hate his own mother, could wish her dead?”
His five words to his mother might have been full of hate, but mine are filled with hope, with bravery and love as I say, “Yes. All of you, Valerian.”
His eyes close, and when he releases a ragged, shuddering breath, I can almost see the torment leaving him.
“Can you promise to give that to me?”
His midnight blue lashes flutter open again and he looks into my eyes. Holding my stare. Giving me