Escaping Parker - F.T. Zele Page 0,71

down so I don’t have to go home to an empty house.

It’s been nine days since I asked Rig to leave, nine days since my heart has beat, and nine days since I have smiled. I thought I made the best decision I could after the truths he was hiding were revealed, exploding everything.

Never in my wildest dreams did I expect him to drop that bomb on me. I always knew things happened other than the tragedy with his sister, I just never knew how far he had taken things.

I felt the safest I had in a long time with him around. I knew he would’ve protected me with his life if I needed him to, but I just can’t be the reason he would ever have someone else’s blood on his hands.

The same things I’m running from came face to face with me. It scares me that he will never recover from that day, and I don’t fully understand the anger that still lives deep inside him. I couldn’t be certain that if it came down to a shoot-to-kill moment that he wouldn’t hesitate to do so. Knowing how he acts purely on impulse is one of the greatest, yet scariest things to be around.

Andrew has called several times to keep me updated on everything, and make sure I’m doing alright down here by myself. Every time he mentions Rig’s name I stop him, unable to handle the feelings that surge through me.

I don’t know if I will ever get over Rig, or know that I made the right decision based on my future, and that regret haunts me every second of the day. He was the only one I didn’t have to pretend around, I could just be myself, flaws and all. He accepted every single one of them, and I threw his back in his face. If I could measure how awful I felt inside the moment I scolded him for being human, it would be off the scales. I pushed him to come clean even after I assured him nothing he could’ve said would ever make me run.

Where do I go from here? Do I fight to get him back, or should I just let it go and accept this as the fresh start I need? My heart tells me to fight, find a way to get him to come back, tell him that I need him.

With my brain so foggy, and being alone on New Year’s Eve, I decide to drown my sorrows in a bottle of wine and pass out before the clock strikes midnight. There is no part of me that wants to bring in the new year alone.

So I hop in a shower to rinse off after a long day at work.

Walking down the hall I pass by Rig’s old room. I brush my hand against the door, wishing he was still here.

But he isn’t.

A creak from his room makes me pause, but I know he isn’t here. A weird feeling envelopes my body. Opening the door, I look in to find nothing out of place. Probably just my conscience haunting me.

Once I grab some comfy clothes out of my drawers, I head to the shower, taking as much time as I can. When the hot water hits my skin, it tingles, making me realize I’m still very much alive, even though I feel dead inside without Rig here.

The water starts running cold, and I decide it’s time to get out and grab a drink and try to get to sleep.

Grabbing the wine bottle and a large cup from cabinet, I uncork it and fill the glass up to the top.

I check the clock and it’s already ten o’clock, so I turn the TV on, hoping I can find anything other than New Year’s programs of couples kissing and all that cute bullshit.

Finding a movie, I sit back and drink up, sulking alone, not very interested about what’s playing on the TV.

So I settled in bed, with my glass next to me on a box that I use as my makeshift nightstand, and lean back against my pillow. Finishing off the wine, I scoot down in my bed and beg for sleep to come take me away.

A banging against a wall puts me on edge. Must be the wind. Another storm blowing into town. But I can’t squelch this nagging feeling, so I get up to go check around.

Walking out to the living room, I hear the noise coming from the porch,