Escaping Parker - F.T. Zele Page 0,33

unable to get comfortable. If this is what he calls comforting, he needs some work. I throw him a hint and turn my back to him, easing my body into the contours of the soft mattress. Reaching back with my hand I find his, and wrap it around my side. It takes a moment before the rigidness of his body starts to subside, and soon he just forms to me. He breathes in my ear, and with every exhale, tiny shivers run down my body. I don’t know if I will ever learn what’s good for me or not. Having Rig lie next me isn’t the smartest thing, but DAMN, if it doesn’t feel so good.

I have to talk myself off the ledge, continue to say this is only to comfort, nothing more, so I don’t try and do something stupid and send him running back to his room. For him, this might be completely innocent, but to me, it’s anything but.

“You ok, my arm isn’t too heavy, is it?” he asks

“Nope, it’s perfectly fine. Thank you,” I say before I go back to my vivid daydream state.

We lie here, just breathing, saying nothing, which normally would have me in some sort of tizzy, not knowing what the other one is thinking. But that’s the furthest thing from my mind right now.

After a little while of pretending to be asleep, I hear him whispering. Some words I can’t make out, others are as clear as a sunny day: “I will always make sure you are safe” and “If this were any other situation, you would have been mine already.” I must be dreaming, because he acts like he can’t stand me most times. I hold completely still, hoping he’ll say more.

Eventually I drift off to sleep, with Rig’s face consuming my dreams.

Rig stirs and it wakes me up. Reflexively, I grab his hand, holding it, hoping he doesn’t leave. His grasp gets tighter, letting me know he is here, and he’s keeping me safe. The comfort of him by my side leads me to believe nothing bad can happen if he’s around, but it also pains me knowing one day he won’t be here any longer. I don’t know how I will ever feel safe, and I don’t know if this is something I am ready to face.

I drift back to sleep, until a coldness in the bed wakes me up. The alarm clock on the nightstand reads two o’clock, still the middle of the night. That’s when I realize Rig is no longer next to me, and a feeling of emptiness envelopes me. It was too good to be true. I force myself back to sleep, knowing tomorrow I will be able to go out and have some sort of resemblance of a normal human being.

That makes it a little easier to close my eyes.

Today is a rare day that I finally sleep in a little bit, and it feels great. My mood couldn’t be any happier, considering the circumstances, to be getting out around people and not feel like a caged animal.

Rig tells me to be ready by 11:00am to set out and find the nearest store, where we can pick up some stuff we’ll need once we get back on the road.

I’ve checked myself over in the mirror more times than I can count, making sure my wig is in place and not looking too fake. Making sure I blend in is a huge concern of mine, but since I don’t really know where I am it’s kind of hard to do that.

I head downstairs to meet Rig. As I walk down the staircase, I overhear him talking. I don’t hear anybody else, so I assume he’s on the phone.

“Yes, dad. I’m doing everything I can to make her as comfortable as possible, even if it’s something I’m not ok with. Nothing. Look, just get everything in place, so we can figure out where to go from here. Alright, I gotta go.” He shoves his phone in his pocket. Frustration plays all over his face, but that doesn’t stop him from looking like nothing is wrong the second he notices me coming down the stairs.

Rig moves toward the door. “Well, let’s get going.”

I follow him out, suddenly feeling exposed, not having the comfort of a room to hide in. But having Rig by my side helps ease the nerves. I’m starting to wonder if this dependency I’ve built up, needing Rig, is a healthy one, or if