The Enforcer - Kelli Callahan Page 0,52
laughs, shaking his head. I want to reach up and slap him, though I think it would hurt my hands more than it would hurt his face.
“Yes, your emotional well-being. You like to pretend that you’re this big tough guy that doesn’t have any problems and that you don’t get scared, that you’re always so secure and in charge, but you know what, it’s complete and utter bullshit,” I snap.
He stares at me.
“You don’t want to be with me because you’re scared and you’re a coward.”
“I’m a what?” he says. His voice is low and dangerous.
“You heard me. You’re a coward. You’re afraid to be with me. After all the crap that I went through, losing my house, multiple attempts on my life, not being able to see my daughter, traveling across state lines and back, and giving myself to you.”
He groans and closes his eyes.
“Shut up, that’s exactly what happened,” I snarl, and he remains silent. “I get discharged from the hospital. No one’s here, and I have nowhere to go; the least you can do is hold my goddamn hand as we walk to the car.”
He opens his eyes, and he stares hard at me.
“But you can’t do that, can you?” I feel a tear trickling down my cheek. “Because as soon as someone needs something from you, other than a bodyguard, or a knight in shining armor, then, you can’t be called on. You can’t do anything. You’re too scared.”
“Christ, Diana, I knew this was a fucking bad idea. I knew it from the start.”
“What was?” I demand.
“Getting involved with you was a fucking bad idea if there ever was one,” he snarls, and it feels like a slap to the face.
“Why is it a bad idea? Because you can’t handle it?” I demand
“We can’t handle this,” he says.
“What’s there to handle? If you’re in a relationship, you’re honest with each other. That’s it,” I say, feeling my pulse race.
“I knew that if I got involved with you, it wouldn’t be simple. It would be an all or nothing. We can’t just be two people enjoying each other. We got to fall in love and live happily ever after,” he snaps.
“That’s not fair,” I whisper, tears flowing freely now. “That’s not fair and you know it.”
“Want to talk about fair?” he says, turning away from me, twisting his hands and his hair, and whirling back around. “What’s not fair is having you in my arms, seeing you in front of me, knowing that I want you beyond anything rational and not being able to have you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I ask. “I’m standing right here giving you my heart, and you’re squashing it. And for what?” I yell.
“I’m not trying to break your heart Diana. I’m trying to tell you the truth.”
“The truth is that you’re in love with me.”
He stares, mouth open. “I’m not in love with you.”
“The hell you aren’t.” I fold my arms in front of my chest. “You’re crazy about me. Men don’t rescue women over and over again if they aren’t in love with them. They don’t risk their lives and cross state lines; diving into their secret emergency/get out of town kits for a woman they don’t love. You’re in love with me You’re just too scared to admit it. You’re trying to put this on me, tell me that it’s my fault that I’m the one that takes things too far. Well, it’s not me, it’s you,” I say, putting my duffel bag back on my shoulder and walking toward the road, holding up my thumb.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he growls.
“Getting out of here,” I say, as the wind blows through my messy bob.
“And where are you going to go?” he asks, stalking over to me.
“Wherever I please.” I grit my teeth, unable to look at him anymore. “Somewhere far away from here so I can’t hurt you, and you can’t hurt me,”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he says, grabbing my arm and pulling me against him. “Where are you going to go. What are you going to do with a murderer out there? He’ll burn down entire villages to get to you. I know this, you know this, so knock it off,” he snarls.
“No,” I snap, “if I can’t talk to you, then what’s the point of standing here in front of you, giving you my heart when you don’t care. Or you pretend you don’t care because it makes you feel better,” I