and down, all soothing-like. “While not as intense as what Damien and I had, you and Will had a connection when we were younger, even if it was just standing by your best friends,” she replied. “Having emotions for someone is still having emotions for someone whether the emotion is love or hate.” She shrugged. “Indifference is the only true kiss of death.”
“So, because he used to get on my nerves when we were younger is a perfectly good reason to be all love-sick over him now?” I asked, certain that the tequila was hitting us both harder than usual.
Fiona took a swig of her beer, clearly trying to make the most of our rare and valuable time together. “I’m saying that he’s not some guy you just met. It’s okay if this thing between you is running on the fast track. You guys have a lot of history between you. It’s almost like…I don’t know, maybe you’re just picking up where you left off.”
“We never left off anywhere, though?” I argued.
“Exactly,” she said, making no sense. “You guys are finally able to give in to what you wouldn’t allow yourselves to in school. You guys are trying to make up for lost time and so being apart is just more lost time.”
My brows furrowed because she was kind of making drunk sense. But then, none of it mattered, though, right? And the thing about advice is that it doesn’t work for you if you’re not being honest. If you’re only telling half the story, how do you expect someone’s advice to be true and real and actually help you?
Here goes nothing.
I sat up straight and looked my best friend in her pretty brown eyes. “Here goes,” I started, and Fiona being the great person that she is, she sat up straight with me like she was going to face this thing with me head-on. She really was my person. “There’s only two ways this thing with me and Will can go, Fee. Sooner or later, it ends or I’m going to have to make the choice to move my life across the country to be with him, and that’s some scary shit.”
Fiona’s lips rolled inward and out as she mulled over my words. Finally, she asked, “What scares you more?”
The easy answer would be to say uprooting my life, because that shit is scary, but the foolish answer would be losing Will because we haven’t been together enough that losing him should scare me. Sure, the sex was phenomenal, but it wasn’t enough for me to be contemplating rearranging my entire life just to ride his dick on the regular.
“I’m scared that, while we’ve labeled this thing between us as casual, it doesn’t feel casual, Fee,” I told her honestly. “It feels like it could become something important and that’s not just the sex talking.”
“What is talking?”
I shrugged a shoulder and turned back towards the bar to reconnect with my beer. “I don’t know,” I muttered. “But it won’t shut the hell up.”
Fiona let out a soft chuckled. “Love sucks, doesn’t it?”
“That’s just it,” I whined, picking at the beer label. “There’s no way I can be in love with him, Fee. It’s crazy to think that I’m in love with him after two nights together.” I gave her a pointed look. “No matter how we felt about each other in high school.”
“Okay, so, maybe it’s not love,” she conceded. “But whatever it is, it feels strong enough to be important. Important enough that we’re sitting at Mercury’s looking for life advice inside shot glasses.”
“I guess I’m just struggling with how long to let this thing live on,” I mumbled pathetically. “I’m not sure Will Creston is worth the heartache.”
Fiona turned back towards her beer. “I’m not sure any man is, to tell you the truth, but what the hell do I know,” she laughed. “I married my life's tormentor.”
I knew she was joking, but I wasn’t sure if Fiona truly realized what she had with Damien. Sure, he was awful. Sure, she suffered. But she owned Damien Greystone. She fucking owned him. There were no doubts when it came to what they felt for one another and I envied that. He planned his entire life around her, and he stopped at nothing to finally have her. Would Will ever come to love me like that? Would he ever leave New York for me?
I doubted it.
“When are you supposed to see him again?”
My sigh was loud enough that it