keep you at home? He tore you away from anybody who might have protected you.”
I’d never really thought about it, but . . . “You might be right.”
Maybe I’d always convinced myself that I hadn’t been sent away because I was a female, but Layla’s rationale made perfect sense.
I guess I’d never wanted to even contemplate the possibility that my abuse had been carefully planned.
“Did your mother know?” Layla questioned.
I nodded my head slowly. “I found out recently that she knew about everything. She just never stopped it.”
“Are you going to counseling, Riley?”
“I am. It’s helped a lot. I’ve come a long way in the last few years. But I have occasional moments when I’m still that scared, confused little girl.”
Terrified.
Uncertain.
Still looking for approval from my mother.
Thank God I’m not even remotely looking for my parent’s love anymore.
Layla smiled at me. “I think it’s normal to feel that way sometimes.”
“I wish it would go away. I don’t think it’s ever good for a relationship.”
“Does your boyfriend understand?”
I nodded. “He’s amazing. Supportive. That’s why I hope I’m not pregnant. He doesn’t deserve to be a father when he doesn’t want to be.”
Even though I knew Seth didn’t have a single regret about busting his ass to raise his younger siblings, I didn’t want to saddle him with a responsibility that he didn’t care to take on.
“What about you?” she prodded.
“Like I said, I don’t want children.”
At one time, I’d known I’d probably have to be a mother when I’d been engaged to Nolan. There had been no doubt in my mind that he’d want a male child to inherit his business.
I can’t say that I’d ever been okay with that, but I’d managed to block the thought completely from my mind.
Now, I could make my own decisions.
And I’d chosen not to have kids.
Or at least, I had thought I never would have a child of my own.
Until . . . today.
“If you’re pregnant, there are alternatives, Riley,” Layla said.
I put my hand to my flat abdomen reflexively.
If there was a baby, I couldn’t stand the thought of terminating a pregnancy, or giving Seth’s child away. “No,” I murmured. “I’ll figure it out if it happens.”
If I was pregnant, the child had been created from love, at least on my part.
It would rip my heart out to do anything other than love and nurture any baby who had been created because I loved Seth Sinclair body and soul.
“Whatever happens, I’ll be here to help you, Riley. Shall we get on with it?”
I looked at the pretty blonde gratefully. Layla had always gone above and beyond for her patients.
Honestly, I’d never had a reason to spill my guts to her like I was doing now. But I was pretty damn glad she was my health-care professional.
I couldn’t imagine having this conversation with the elderly, male Dr. Fortney.
“What do we need to do?” I asked, trying to build up my mental strength for whatever might be coming.
I appreciated the fact that Layla was trying to prepare me just in case I was pregnant.
Really, I’d been so stressed that I hadn’t thought about what would happen if I was going to have a child.
The reality was . . . I’d never be able to part with a child who belonged to Seth and me. At all. Ever.
If necessary, I’d raise the baby on my own. It wasn’t like I didn’t have the resources to take care of him or her.
“First, I’d really like to do a blood test. It’s a little more sensitive in picking up HCG if you’re pregnant. It’s the best test, since this would be extremely early. And you’d know the truth without a doubt.”
“Let’s do it,” I agreed, steeling myself for whatever the truth might be.
Good or bad, I’d handle it.
I didn’t mind having blood taken.
But the wait was excruciating.
By the time I finally left the doctor’s office, I was utterly devastated.
CHAPTER 28
SETH
“I haven’t heard from Riley for four damn days,” I told Aiden and Skye as I sat in the living room of their home. “She sent me a two-line email four days ago and said she needed some time alone. After that, I’ve called, I’ve emailed, I’ve texted. Nothing.”
“If that’s what she wants, she deserves to have that time, Seth,” Aiden said. “Maybe she’s just busy.”
“Busy, my ass. Something’s wrong,” I grumbled. “We’re together every damn day. Neither one of us was ever too busy to find time.”
“Maybe that’s the problem,” Skye contemplated from her seat next to Aiden.