into contact with her. She’s lying in a bed of pills and bottles, dying in her own flames. Holding my breath, I guide her to her room, lie her down on the bed, and slip off her high heels.
She blinks at me through her blurry eyes. “You look so much like him,” she mutters. “You have his eyes and everything.”
She’s referring to my father. “Shhh… Get some rest,” I say, tossing her shoes onto the floor.
“I wonder if you’ll turn out like him,” she says, rolling onto her side. “I bet you will… A killer… You did kill your grandma.”
Her words stab at my heart, like a rusty, jagged knife, but it’s not the first time she’s uttered them. “Mom, Dad didn’t kill anyone.”
“Yes, he did… Yes, he did.” She drifts off to sleep.
I force back the tears and rush out of her room. I don’t cry—I never do—but I can’t fall back asleep. So I read Cameron’s poem, over and over again until the words blur together and make no sense at all. Just like my life.
***
I’m running late the next morning and if I don’t hurry my ass up I’m going to be late for my English class. There are bags under my bloodshot eyes and I look pallid. I quickly get dressed in torn jeans, grey combat boots, and a black vest over a striped T-shirt. Raven texts me as I’m barreling down the stairs, pulling my hair into a ponytail.
Raven: Need 2 get ur own ride 2day.
I halt at the bottom of the stairs and text back.
Me: Why? Is something wrong?
It takes her a second to answer.
Raven: I got things 2 do 2day. Can’t b late.
Me: Just hold on. I’m almost out the door.
Raven: Already gone.
Raven: FYI the news said Laden disappeared the night of the party
Me: … that makes no sense. I saw him outside the house.
Raven: whateva u say. U would know how he died though. U saw it remember. It’s why I had 2 hang out with him
Me: He’s not necessarily dead yet, only missing.
Raven: If you say so. But anyway gotta go. C u in Biology :)
I throw my phone into my bag, wondering how the hell I’m going to get to class. I’ve already missed too much and I don’t want to bail. I consider hitting Ian up for a ride, but then I’d have to explain what happened to Dad’s car. And I’m not ready for that yet. The only other alternative is to take the overly crowded public bus that is crammed with unavoidable death omens.
“What’s up with you?” Ian asks, munching on a Pop-Tart in the kitchen doorway.
“Nothing.” I snatch my house keys off the table. “I’m just tired.”
“Did Mom say anything to you last night?” he asks. “Like maybe why she hasn’t been taking her meds.”
“Does she ever talk about anything?” I snap, shoving my keys into my pocket.
Ian holds up his hands and backs up. “Sorry. I was just asking a question. But I guess I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
I open my mouth to apologize, but he turns back into the kitchen, shrugging me off. I grab my jacket off the banister and step outside. I slip on my jacket and stare at the end of the street at the bench in front of the bus stops. Walk or ride the bus? God, I have no clue.
Cameron’s Jeep suddenly appears beside the curb. He rolls down his window and crooks his finger at me.
I start to walk over, but then hesitate.
“I promise I don’t bite.” He dazzles me with an exquisite smile. “Unless, of course, that’s what you want.”
I start to pant, my chest actually heaving. My feet trot down the steps and across the grass on their own accord and I stop inches away from his door.
“You look lost,” he says, his dark gaze skimming my body behind his sunglasses.
“I have to get to class,” I tell him, wrapping my arms around myself. The way he’s looking at me makes me feel naked and I’m not sure if I like it or if it makes me feel uncomfortable. “But my car’s… broken.” I shift my weight uneasily.
“Hop in.” He nods at the passenger seat. “I’ll give you a ride to the college… I was headed down there anyway to enroll for next semester.”
“I was going to walk.” I adjust the handle of my bag. “It’s really not that big of a deal.”
He shakes his head and laughs, sliding his sunglasses off. “Hop in, Ember. I