full of Monstrous Sea fan art, and you actually stood up for me. Most people never do that; what kind of two-hundred-pound guy needs someone to stand up for him? I really thought you hated me at first. Or at least thought I was stupid. Most people think I’m stupid because I don’t talk and I write slow.
But you wrote back. And you love creating things. And you get what I mean when I say I don’t want to spend my life doing something I hate. If you know what you’re meant to do, if you know what you love, why not do that? Find a way to do it, find a way to make money doing it. My dad hated what he did, and I think it made him hate himself. I don’t want to hate myself. I don’t want you to hate yourself.
I know we’re both not the most socially adept people. I’m writing this all to you in an email because I’ll pass out from stress if I try to say it to you in real time, even with a screen between us. I’m almost passing out from it right now, and we’re in different places and I don’t have to send it if I don’t want to. I should end this before something bad happens.
I like being together. I like feeling like nothing is wrong with me. I like being able to think about something else at night instead of Wellhouse Turn. I know I should see someone about the talking, but for now I’m good with this. I’m happy.
I hope you’re happy too.
Wallace
CHAPTER 27
My head is empty and ringing when I scroll back to the top of the email. My fingers feel like jelly. No one has ever told me something this important before. It’s like Wallace took off a mask of his own face. The face beneath it is the same, but now I can watch the expression change.
What a whiny, spoiled brat I’ve been. This whole time.
Then I see the email’s subject line.
Monstrous Sea Private Message
12:05 a.m. (MirkerLurker has joined the message)
MirkerLurker: Either of you guys around?
MirkerLurker: I have a question.
MirkerLurker: Really not sure what to do…
12:25 a.m. (emmersmacks has joined the message)
emmersmacks: Sorry
emmersmacks: Been falling asleep way early lately
emmersmacks: Like whats up with that right Im fourteen
emmersmacks: Should be able to crush a Monty D and stay awake
emmersmacks: Anyways
emmersmacks: Whats up
MirkerLurker: I don’t know what “crush a Monty D” means, but I’d like to hear about your issues way more than I’d like to talk about mine.
emmersmacks: In college there are these things called projects and if you want a good grade you work hard on them deep into the night for many weeks
MirkerLurker: We have those in high school too.
emmersmacks: Haha no you dont
emmersmacks: Come take mechanical engineering and then tell me you do projects
emmersmacks: If you really want to hear about it I can go on . . .
MirkerLurker: No no, please.
MirkerLurker: I’m having issues of the Wallace kind.
emmersmacks: Oh no
emmersmacks: Bad issues??
MirkerLurker: No. More like the “He pulled the You Found Me in a Constellation card after telling me some very important things and now I don’t know what to say to him” kind.
emmersmacks: O.O
emmersmacks: He used the constellation line??
emmersmacks: Wow he must really like you
emmersmacks: So do you not like him back???
MirkerLurker: I do!
MirkerLurker: But what are you supposed to say to someone who says that?
MirkerLurker: And it wasn’t even that—he said that and he said all that other stuff too. Like stuff he’s never told anyone else before.
emmersmacks: Tell him you love him
MirkerLurker: Gahhh. It’s not that kind of conversation. The stuff he told me was . . . sensitive.
emmersmacks: You do love him dont you??
MirkerLurker: I don’t know! How are you supposed to love someone when they don’t even know who you are? I’m lying to him all the time, and he told me things about himself. Serious things. Things that matter.
emmersmacks: Sounds intimidating
MirkerLurker: It wasn’t, not really. Not the way he put it.
MirkerLurker: Where is Max when you need him? He would explain what a guy wants to hear in this situation.
emmersmacks: Max is probably going to be gone a lot
MirkerLurker: What? Why?
emmersmacks: His girlfriend broke up with him a couple days ago
emmersmacks: She said he spent too much time online
emmersmacks: So now hes going to reevaluate his life or something
MirkerLurker: Why didn’t he tell me?
emmersmacks: He did
emmersmacks: In a message thread a few days ago
MirkerLurker: Oh.
emmersmacks: But anyway I dont think you really need