combined with that shocking awareness. She knew that Edward might be brusque and probably a bit more chauvinistic than she would prefer, but he really was the only man she’d ever met who made her body tingle just from being in the same room with him. She hadn’t even known that feeling existed until she’d met him earlier today.
Which didn’t bode well for her future marital bliss.
How was she going to do without that spark of excitement? She’d have to double her efforts because she had less than two weeks left. Maybe she should just pick a man and get it over with. Surely there was someone out there who might be interesting? Someone who could give her the same sense of excitement without the disapproval and angry disposition? Or maybe she should just marry a friend with an agreement that they would simply be friends without the intimacy of a normal marriage.
She rolled over and sighed into the darkness. She could do that if she had to, but her sense of right and wrong made that option unpalatable. Marriage wasn’t something one went into with that kind of attitude. But did she have an option?
She remembered the day her father had picked her up from school. She’d been eighteen and he’d taken the two hour drive back home to explain that he’d selected her finishing school, after which she would be perfectly prepared for a good marriage. He even had her prospects picked out for her.
Her father thought that, because she was a woman, the best she should aspire to in life was a well placed marriage. Jessica hadn’t bowed to his pressure. In fact, she’d already been accepted to the University of London on a full scholarship. She’d defied him that day, telling him that she would attend university even if he disowned her.
This will, his dying declaration, was his final retribution for her defiance. And boy had he gotten her with this one! The man was positively diabolical. She couldn’t even yell at him and express her anger and horror over his retribution because he wasn’t alive to listen. She was well and truly trapped.
If she married, he would have his final wish and win their argument. If she didn’t marry by his deadline, she would prove that women weren’t strong enough to handle the responsibility of business. Although how he translated her marriage into women being strong enough was ridiculous.
She rolled over to the other side, kicking the sheets and blankets out of her way. Either way, she lost. All those families, all those people who would wonder how they would pay their mortgage. Her father had preferred hurting people he didn’t even know just so he could win this argument and put his only daughter in her place.
And that thought brought her right back to Edward.
Dammit why did her heartbeat have to speed up just thinking about him?
How could she be both excited and furious at the same time about the same man? And why did he have to be so angry all the time? What had she done to provoke his ire in such an extreme way? He didn’t appear to be angry when he escorted his previous lady friends to various social functions. At least he didn’t appear angry in the photos that she’d viewed on the internet. This was an absurd and untenable situation she was in.
No more ridiculous than her father and his horrible stipulations. She punched her pillow and rolled onto her back. Marriage for her or unemployment for so many families. Her father had worked his will perfectly. He’d tried so hard to control her while he was alive, but he’d always known she had a soft spot for anyone she’d met. He knew she’d never let those people lose their jobs.
Her father honestly thought that a husband would keep her safe and out of trouble. He’d known all her life that she had a rebellious nature. He’d tried to quell it so often throughout her life. But she’d caused too much trouble at boarding school with her antics. Her first taste of freedom and she’d revealed her true nature, one that loved to be free and do crazy things like dancing down the hallways or building secret forts with exclusive club memberships, where she would instigate pranks on the teachers or the boys’ school down the street.
This whole mess was her own fault, she thought angrily. If she’d only comported herself befitting her father’s wishes, she wouldn’t have