could you not have told me? ” The fury comes out in her words, the little-girl hurt that she can’t hide, even as an adult.
“You didn’t need to know,” Ginny attempts.
“What? ” Kit spits. “This is my sister. How could you? How could you deny me a sister? ” She is close to tears as she speaks, aware she is regressing, sounding like a nine-year-old, but the anger is such that she doesn’t care.
“Kit, stop,” Ginny demands sternly. “There’s too much you don’t know. I’ll have to explain when I see you, and I’m sorry for your hurt, but . . . there’s more to this than meets the eye.”
“What do you mean? ”
How can Ginny explain, how can she tell Kit that she has never wanted anything to do with Annabel because she has had nothing but negative feelings for her since before she was even born?
“Oh Kit. I’ve tried. Do you think I don’t recognize that despite all, she is still my daughter? I was a terrible mother to you, but I hope I’m making up for it somewhat now. I wish I could do the same for Annabel, but it isn’t the same. Not just that I don’t trust her, but that I don’t have a bond with her. This is a baby I never even held, and a child who grew up to be a troubled and destructive woman.”
“I don’t understand. You must feel something for her.”
“I have tried to feel something for her, but I don’t, and I can’t. She isn’t someone who feels like my child. It isn’t like you, Kit. I promise you it’s not the same. And you must not trust her either. She wants money, and heaven knows her father was paid enough at the time.”
“So what if she wants money? She’s your daughter.” And God knows you can afford it, she wants to say. But doesn’t.
Kit hears Ginny sigh. “Kit, I don’t expect you to understand, but I have more than provided for her. Every time she has gotten into trouble over the years, I have been the one to bail her out, but don’t you go telling her that. When she got into drugs as a teenager, who do you think paid for rehab? I paid her college tuition, which was a waste of time because she dropped out halfway into her second year, and I have supplemented her life behind the scenes for many years.”
“You have? ” Kit is shocked.
“Indeed I have. None of which she knows. This is a private arrangement between myself and John.”
Ginny doesn’t want to explain to Kit that it was duty that made her provide for Annabel. Hers was a pregnancy that was not supposed to have happened, and Ginny paying for Annabel’s mistakes comes from a sense of duty rather than any familial obligation you might expect a mother to feel.
“This child is not someone I owe anything to. She has spent years fighting drugs and alcohol, has never held a steady job as far as I know and is obsessed with money. Her last serious boyfriend was a drug dealer, and she stayed with him because he kept her in cocaine and Rolexes. I know she’s up to no good.”
“You’ve met her? ”
“No. But John sends me pictures, and we talk regularly; he tells me about her. She never knew I was her mother until recently. Now she wants to meet me, and I know this is about money.”
“Mom, you’re saying terrible things. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. This is your daughter, a child you abandoned, and all she’s asking for is to meet you. Her own mother.” Kit shakes her head in disgust.
“Don’t call me Mom, Kit,” snaps Ginny. “You know how I hate it. This is a girl with ulterior motives. Don’t give her money—it will just go up her nose. Honestly, I’d say don’t have anything to do with her.”
“I have to go,” Kit says, feeling dirty after this conversation. Sullied.
“Bye, darling,” Ginny says, and the connection is cut.
Kit tips the wineglass back and glugs the entire contents before refilling it and shaking her head, just as her phone buzzes from the kitchen, signaling that she has a text. It’s from Charlie.
How’s yr evening? T is crazy. Doesn’t seem to know finance world collapsing! Yr boss here too, being v. sexy and clever—I feel v. glam being out with r. mcclore! Hope u r misbehaving . . . C xxx
“Unbefuckinglievable,” Kit says, out loud, reading the text.