her conquests of them. Age made no difference to my stepmother.”
He’d clearly shocked her as she didn’t move an inch or say a word.
Finally, she broke the silence. “Did you try to defend her?” Her voice wavered.
Her hesitation slipped between his ribs, and for a moment he didn’t know whether to bare all his secrets or keep quiet. He decided on the former. This was Katherine, and she’d never judge him.
“At first I tried. But my classmates knew things about my home. Things that they couldn’t know unless they were … in the bedrooms.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I still didn’t believe it, but then one day, it was a night of revelry, another theatre party. Meri came to my room. He was eight, and I was ten and three.”
“What happened?” She tightened her fingers around his.
The movement was so inconsequential, but it infused him with strength. He’d never shared this with anyone. “Meri said he’d seen some of my friends go into his mother’s bedroom.” He laughed at the mockery of the word friends to hide the pain. It still shamed him to this day.
Katherine scooted up the bed so they could be eye to eye. She never released his fingers.
He closed his eyes for a moment at the painful memory. “Meri was visibly upset so I kept him entertained until he fell asleep in my sitting room. As I made my way to my father’s study, it was loud and boisterous. Music and uncontrollable laughter filled the halls. The servants were nowhere to be seen.” He shivered slightly at the ugliness of it all. “All of it made my skin crawl. I knew my father wouldn’t give a care about me, but I thought he’d be upset with his wife. Besides the fact his favorite son was worried.”
“Christian,” she soothed.
He brought her fingers to his lips. “It made no difference. I always knew whom my father favored. Though he pretended otherwise, I always knew.”
“Go on.”
He released a deep sigh. “When I went into his study, my father was sitting at his desk with two well-known actresses draped across his lap, one on each leg. None of them had a stitch of clothing on. He laughed when he saw me and said, ‘Join us.’”
“Oh, Christian,” she said softly.
Christian pressed her palm to his cheek. The softness of her skin was a balm he would not deny himself. “Said it would mark the day I became a man.”
She grimaced slightly. “Oh, God.”
“Though I was only ten and three, my father, the Duke of Randford, wanted me to fuck a woman in front of him. Unbelievable.” He whispered the last before he pressed a kiss to the middle of her palm. “I’m sorry for the vulgarity.”
“It’s all right.” She stroked his face, offering comfort, something he sorely needed. “What happened?”
Christian looked at her. “Disgusted, I turned and left. I’ll never forget the sound of my father’s laughter as it followed me out the door. He called me a stiff prick. I packed up Meri and ordered a carriage. We went to our ancestral home where Wheatley met us at the door. We were there a week before Meri’s mother wrote to him.” He lifted a brow in defiance. “My father never asked about me at all. Not. Once.” His gut squeezed at the memory. “I meant nothing to him, so he meant nothing to me. From then on, I discovered where my father and Meri’s mother were residing before I came home from school. I ensured that Meri and I never were in the same house with them. We always spent the holidays alone together. No one ever challenged me. Not my father. Not Meri’s mother. Not even Meri.”
“You protected Meriwether.” Katherine squeezed his hand, keeping him from losing himself in loneliness. “No wonder he adored you.”
He shook his head slightly. “But it was a wasted effort. As Meri got older, he came under their spell and spent more time with them than me. It’s speculation on my part, but perhaps the allures of pleasure and self-gratification were too much for him to resist.”
Her brow creased into lines of worry. “Did Meri partake…”
“I don’t have a clue, but our relationship changed from then on. He turned wild and reckless, as if rebelling against me and the world.” He let go of her hand. “I tried to talk to him, but to no avail. I lost him and could do nothing else for him.” He reached for Katherine and