well. We removed all of the mass and have sent the tumors for biopsy. Ellie’s been taken to the post-op wing but it’ll be a little while yet before she comes out of the anesthesia. I know you’ve been here all day, so I suggest you go home for a few hours and return for tonight’s visiting hours.”
Elodie shook her head, her eyes bright with worry. “We want to see her.”
“Just give her some time,” Dr. Dunham replied kindly. “I promise she’s fine. You can return tonight. I’ll warn you now, she’ll probably still be very groggy, and the right side of her face is swollen quite badly from the surgery. That’s perfectly normal.”
I squeezed Elodie’s arm. “Come on. We’ll go get the kids some dinner and come back later.”
“Yeah, mum, I’m hungry,” Declan complained quietly.
“Okay,” she whispered, still sounding unconvinced.
“Thank you, Dr. Dunham.” Clark held out his hand and the surgeon took it with a kind smile. After Adam and Braden shook his hand and Elodie and I offered him a grateful smile, Dr. Dunham left us to gather ourselves. A tension had eased between us all knowing that she’d come through surgery safely, but we were still anxious to see her.
It wasn’t until we were leaving the hospital and Braden edged up to me to draw me into his side for a hug, that I realized for once in God knows how long I hadn’t thought about my drama with him. I’d just been thinking about Ellie.
As soon as he touched me though I remembered Isla and I tensed.
He felt it, his body turning hard against mine. “Jocelyn?” he asked questioningly.
I couldn’t look at him. I shrugged out of his hold taking advantage of his surprise, and hurried to catch up with Hannah.
***
That night the nurse led us to the post-op wing and we were allowed into see Ellie. Her curtains were drawn around her, and Elodie and Clark were in front of me so I didn’t see her at first. When they greeted her quietly and stepped back I flinched.
I hadn’t expected to feel so scared.
Dr. Dunham was right—her head was pretty swollen and kind of misshapen on the right side, her eyes still glazed from the anesthesia. White padded bandages were wrapped tight around her head and I felt my stomach lurch as I thought about the fact that today her brain had been cut into.
She gave me a lopsided quirk of a smile. “Joss,” her voice was hoarse, barely audible.
I wanted to run. I know. That’s horrible. But I wanted to run away from this part. People ending up in hospital had never concluded well in my life, and seeing her there, so vulnerable, so exhausted, just reminded me of how close we might have come to losing her.
I felt a hand squeeze mine and I turned my head to see Hannah watching me. She looked as pale as I felt, and her fingers were trembling between mine. She was scared too. I smiled reassuringly at her, hoping I was pulling it off. “Ellie is okay. Come on.” I tugged on her hand and pulled her with me to Ellie’s bed side.
I reached out for the hand Ellie had held out for her mom, and I slid mine into it, feeling relief and love as she gave me a gentle squeeze. “Am I pretty?” she asked with a little slur, and I laughed softly.
“Always, honey.”
Her eyes dropped to Hannah. “I’m okay,” she whispered.
“Are you sure?” Hannah pressed in close to the bed, her frightened eyes glued to Ellie’s bandaged head.
“Mmmhmm.”
She was still tired. We shouldn’t stay long. I gently eased Hannah back so Braden and Adam could get in with Declan. Declan thought she looked cool of course. Once Braden said hello, Adam wouldn’t leave Ellie’s side.
Her eyes started to flutter closed.
“We should leave her to rest,” Clark ordered in a hushed voice. “We’ll come back tomorrow.”
“Els,” Braden murmured, and her eyes fluttered back open. “We’re going. We’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
Adam grabbed a chair from the side of the room and put it beside her bed. “I’m staying.”
We nodded, not really wanting to argue with the determined clench of his jaw.
With soft goodbyes we left them, Braden and I trailing at the back as we walked in a solemn fog through the hospital.
“She looked tiny,” Braden observed hoarsely. “I wasn’t expecting her to look so bad.”
“The swelling will go down.”
He shot me a careful look. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t seem fine.”
“It’s been a tiring