On Dublin Street The Bonus Material - Samantha Young Page 0,39

this happened?

He had to make it stop.

Ending it was the only way to make it all just stop and go back to how it was.

Liv glowered at him. “I was just following your lead.”

Her anger was making his panic increase, but more than that the hurt in her eyes was killing him. It was all so messy. And it pissed him off. “Don’t. Don’t give me those wounded eyes and that hurt tone. We agreed that this was just sex. And you promised.” You promised me. You’re my best mate, Liv, don’t do this to me. I cannot lose you, too. “You promised it wouldn’t ruin us.”

“You want me to hold to that promise? Nate, don’t lie to yourself! For the past six weeks we’ve been in a relationship, and I’m sick of pretending it isn’t. You’re here most nights and it’s not just sex. It’s friendship and affection and tenderness. We make each other laugh and we get each other. What’s so wrong with that?” Tears were bright in her eyes, so much pain.

No. No she’s not…

Because if she was then he was going to lose her.

Terrified, Nate stared at her, aghast. She’d lied to him! She’d given him something special and was going to rip it away from him because she’d never had any of intention of keeping things uncomplicated between them. Rage and fear mingled with guilt he was frantic to push aside. “I can’t believe you,” he managed to choke out over the lump of emotion in his throat. “I’ve told you over and over that I don’t want that and you sat there and murmured your understanding and gave me your fucking assurances and all the time you were manipulating me!” he shook, trying to control himself as she flinched back from his uncharacteristic roar.

And then her low but soft voice reached him. “I wasn’t the one who asked you to sleep over after sex. You did that. I didn’t ask you to be here almost every night. You did that. I didn’t cuddle you on the couch. You did that. I didn’t ask you to come home and meet my parents. You did that.”

Nate couldn’t look at her. He fought for calmness as her words penetrated.

Liv was right. He had done all that. He’d been playing with fire all along and he’d done nothing to stop the blaze from getting out of control.

This was his fault.

“Looking back, I think you knew that there was more here. There were moments when I felt you pull away and I thought that was it—this, between us, was over. But then you’d come back. Why?”

Glancing up at her Nate almost shrank back at the tears, at the accusation. What could he say that wouldn’t confuse her more? That wouldn’t hurt her more? “Liv, don’t.” What I have to say is the last thing you want to hear. Don’t make me say it, babe. Don’t hurt us both here.

“Don’t. Don’t, why?”

God damn her! “Because,” Nate forced out, the control on his emotions, mostly his anger, slipping. “If you say any more I’ll be forced to say things I don’t want to.”

But Liv had lost all control on her anger. She was determined to push his buttons. “Just say them. Come on. Just say it! I’m a big girl.”

“Don’t make this ugly.”

“You’ve already made this ugly with your goddamn mixed signals, so just say it!”

His frayed nerves just snapped. “Fine. I don’t love you. I can’t and I won’t and you knew that, so don’t stand there like some victim.”

The anguish in her eyes gutted him.

Standing there, a liar and a coward, Nate couldn’t remember a time he’d ever felt more ashamed of himself. What kind of man did it make him to stand there and cause a good woman pain because he was… what… scared? He scoffed bitterly at himself and prayed to God that Liv had it in her to forgive him for his weakness.

The sound of her bitter laughter gouged into his hope that their friendship could be salvaged. “Last week I thought you might just be the best person I ever met in my life. Last week I loved you like I’ve never loved anyone.”

No, fuck, no. Take it back, Liv, take it back and we can start over.

“You taught me to be brave again, Nate. How can such a coward teach someone to be brave?”

He couldn’t hide his flinch. She thought just as badly of him as he thought of himself.

“You know what else you