that cop who sometimes runs the desk there. Because Bobbie’s kid was sick.”
I stood in the hall outside the dancers’ dressing room at Smithie’s club, hands on hips, ordering, “Stop talking, Auggie.”
Auggie ignored me.
“Yeah, Evie doesn’t have a couch, but Bobbie’s kid has a new Lego set,” he told Mag. “Then she gets a call from some old lady whose got somethin’ jackin’ with her computer. And just sayin’, brother, you’re up for dinner at Gert’s next Tuesday. And so am I and Boone, Axl, Mo and Lottie. I tried to get us out of it, but the woman talked so much, I couldn’t get a word in.”
I put my hand out and demanded, “Give me your phone, Auggie.”
“Yeah,” he said into the phone, continuing to ignore me. “So, Gert’s one tough cookie and she pretty much thinks Evie walks on water, which means, when the woman takes a breath, I tell her what’s goin’ down, and Gert loses her goddamn mind.”
I squinted my eyes at him at that reminder and remained in my stance, hand held out, glaring at him.
“This is probably why she let slip that Evie has been single-handedly feeding her for the last two years,” he continued.
Which was when I moved, shouting, “Auggie! Stop!” at the same time launching myself at him and going for his phone.
He just rounded me with an arm, tucked me to his side and twisted his torso away, all the while still…freaking…talking.
“Yeah, so heads-up on that too, brother. Gert didn’t wanna accept, but she’s in a financial sitch so she can’t really argue too much. This means I’m on grocery duty next. I volunteered Boone, Axl and Mo and Lottie, but you’re up after she gets through the lineup.”
“Auggie! I have to start getting ready! Stop messing around! Give me that phone!”
“Yeah,” he said into the phone he was not giving me. “So now I don’t know whether to be terrified of the chick Lots has lined up for me or jump the gun and just walk into the dressing room and ask her to marry me. But after the Lego argument, where Evie essentially threw down in a goddamn Target about her right to buy a sick kid a present, I’m leaning toward terrified.”
The Lego argument was not my finest hour.
People stopped to watch.
But he’d actually thought he could tell me I couldn’t buy something, stating he’d buy it and I could say it was from me.
Of course, he was right. I should save my pennies to buy a new mattress, so I had somewhere to sleep.
But he’d actually thought he could tell me I couldn’t buy something…
And I’d listen.
And obey!
I stared at his perfectly angled, perfectly stubbled jaw.
“Sure,” he said then offered his phone to me. “Mag wants to talk to you.”
I snatched it out of his hand, pulled out of his hold and walked two paces away before I put it to my ear and said, “Auggie doesn’t get any more of your pancakes until the end of time.”
Mag’s laughter spilled into my ear.
Okay, that made me feel better.
Slightly.
Reminders of his bodacious pancakes made me feel even better.
Though not enough.
Auggie had shared all my secrets with Mag!
“And, you know, since we’re spilling our hearts out to each other, either directly, or through intermediaries, you should know that Gert’s my only friend. She’s seventy-nine, is an aficionado of Olive Garden and her children don’t live close. Girls my age never got me. I would say this is a boon for you, since you don’t have to pass some girlfriend test. But Gert loves me and she’s gonna look you over with a keen eye. And if you aren’t on your best behavior, she’ll begin a campaign to surgically excise you from my life.”
Through chuckles, Mag said, “I can win over a seventy-nine-year-old woman.”
“You don’t know Gert. She’s very opinionated. The first words she spoke to Auggie were, ‘God, I hope you’re not Evie’s new boyfriend. You’re way too pretty to be good for any woman.’”
Mag burst into laughter again, through it forcing out, “Fuck, I wish I was there to see that.”
“I do too,” I replied, turning my eyes to Auggie. “It would serve him right.”
“Baby, three things,” Mag said.
“What?” I asked.
“First, girls didn’t like you not because they didn’t get you. But because they saw all the guys wanted a shot at you and they were jealous.”
“That’s what moms are supposed to say. My mom just told me to stop being so weird.”
I heard a sucking void of