well get it over with.
The servants had my trunks packed and loaded onto the back of the carriage. At the sight of it, I became sick— wanted to turn and run— but though this demon had taken everything from me, he hadn’t yet stolen my courage, and I refused to be a coward.
I couldn’t avoid it any longer. I had to see her. Though the prospect made my knees quiver, there was no getting around it. I’d have to let myself look into those green eyes, and crumble.
My stomach grew hollow the closer we got to Arcanea University. The fall chill permeated the air. A few leaves fell from the branches of trees, lying forlorn and broken on the cobblestone.
The carriage stopped in front of the beautiful university gates. I stepped out— the servants would drop my things off at my dorm. I’d always said I wanted to be treated like any other student while I was here, but now, the servants were a blessing. The leshane was draining all my energy, saving it for himself when he finally made his move to take over my body. I couldn’t carry those trunks to my dorm even if I wanted to.
As I wandered the paths of the university, the demon’s hold lightened on me just a little, dissolving the tightness in my chest and making it easier to breathe. Being in a place I loved put me at peace. It was like coming home. Despite how miserable and empty I felt, how cold my spirit was growing to be, there would always be a comfort in roaming the campus at Arcanea University.
No one was here at this hour. It was too early. We’d precisely picked this time to avoid being overheard. I walked directly to the clock tower at the center of campus. I opened the door— it was unlocked— and wound the spiraling stairs upward to join the rest of my friends in the clock’s inner workings.
Gears turned as I reached the top of the tower. I entered into an open square room that contained the mechanisms of the clock. The clock face was circular, massive and see-through— a window that displayed the main part of campus and the city beyond. The large hands of the clock moved steadily, while a loud ticking noise clicked in the background.
It reminded me just how little time I had.
Students weren’t allowed up here, but we’d figured it just as good a place as any to speak privately. My heart grew less heavy as I took in the welcoming faces around the room.
She wasn’t here yet. I breathed a sigh of relief. Kiara and Alexei were in the corner, pouring over a book together; Odette was humming a tune and pirouetting in place, while Theo practiced some of their lifts. She gave him a fond smile every time he raised her upward, though it seemed more friendly than romantically inclined.
Stefan had his arm over Delmare. They were speaking in soft voices, heads tilted toward each other as they remained in their own little world.
It pained me to look at them. They had what Emma and I had lost. I could not feel happy for them. I could only feel pain.
I hadn’t seen my friends all summer. When the semester ended, we’d all agreed to travel to different places, searching for clues on the locations of the Crystals of Harmony. I’d been hopping from place to place on the ruse of doing just that, but to be honest, I had bigger issues. I’d just gotten back from Africa a few days ago. Another failed attempt to exorcise the demon inside of me.
You’ll never be rid of me, the leshane cackled. I ignored him.
As the door shut behind me, heads snapped up. Jaws dropped open. Odette put a hand over her mouth, while Alexei’s eyes widened.
Stefan’s face was hard to read. He chewed on his lip, as if considering what to say to me before deciding against it.
Theo voiced what everyone was thinking. “Wow…” Theo said. "You look..."
“Like shit? I know.” My hair was unkempt, and there were dark circles around my eyes— not to mention bruises. I’d hit myself in the face frequently, trying to make the demon stop talking.
Yeah. I was a mess.
Kiara stepped forward. “I knew you were taking the breakup hard, but... Ethan, this isn’t okay.”
“I’m fine, Kiara. Honestly.”
“Fine? You look like you’ve dropped twenty pounds,” Alexei protested.
“I’ve merely been busy.” I hadn’t eaten. Sleep was an afterthought. I’d refused myself both