him. What she could be to him, if she felt the same. That was part of it of course. Rakell didn’t want things to end up sideways with her. He felt…well, he knew how he felt.
There was more to it though. Rakell feared—and he would never tell a soul this truth—that Laura might be his only chance. With anyone. Mate or no mate, life hadn’t seen fit to put a lot of women in his path that he might care for. Sex didn’t matter. He wanted a connection, a purpose.
Rakell wanted a mate, so that he could be something other than a Cado killer. Violence was something he was good at. Not something he longed for. Especially when there was no one to come home to, nobody to return to at the end of the day. It made things…tiring, after a while.
Not with Laura. Rakell knew he would never tire of her. Never tire of opening the door after a long mission to find himself greeted by her smiling face, to feel her tiny arms wrapped tightly around his big frame. To feel the naked flesh of her lustful body underneath his, locked in a lover’s embrace.
That was what he wanted.
Now if I could just figure out a way to tell her this!
There had to be some sort of method. Something that would ensure a positive reaction when he told her the truth. When he tried to claim her as his mate. Didn’t there?
“You’ll be fine,” Blede repeated.
“Seriously, just stop worrying,” Vlad said, nudging Sache with an elbow. “Right?”
“Huh? Yeah, right,” Sache said, momentarily stirred from his quiet solitude. “Speak the truth.”
“I can’t help it,” Rak growled. “I want to ensure that I’m as perfect for her, as she is for me, you know? Except I can’t, because I’ve already lied to her.”
“Just don’t lie to her anymore,” Vlad said tightly. “If she can’t accept why you didn’t tell the truth at first, then she doesn’t really get what it means to be one of us yet. You know that as well as I do.”
“Just tell her the truth now,” Blede said. “Don’t take any longer. Give her all the information, then back off and let her make a choice. It will work out for the best.”
“Maybe,” he admitted, shaking his head, running his hands through his hair. “Maybe you’re right. Still, I can’t stop thinking that I’m going to screw it up.”
“Screw what?”
Rakell’s spine straightened in alarm at a familiar female voice.
Heads around the room lifted and looked behind him.
Turning slowly, he saw Laura standing in the entryway, framed perfectly by the light from behind her.
“L-Laura,” he stammered.
“That’s my cue,” Blede said, leaping to his feet and barreling full speed out a side door.
“Oh hey, would you look at the time. Sache and I have to, uh, be anywhere but here,” Vlad said, the other shifters exiting stage left.
Even Sache looked eager to be gone.
“Some help you are!” Rakell called after them. He knew it was pointless. He was on his own now.
Well, maybe not quite on his own.
“What were you all talking about?” Laura asked, coming in, taking a seat nearby, motioning for Rakell to sit as well.
He did, in one sharp movement, his body practically bouncing as it came to a halt.
“Ummm,” he said, stalling frantically, trying to think of a way out.
‘Tell her the truth now.’
The line stuck with him, hammering away at his insides just like the butterflies did in his stomach every time he was near Laura.
All at once, Rakell realized something. He was at a turning point. Right then, right there. This was a big moment in their relationship. If he wanted things to progress, which he did, then at some point, he had to start acting like it. Start showing Laura the truths of everything, including his inner fears.
He couldn’t just put it off and dump it on her later. She needed that information, to decide on him. To understand why he did what he did.
So he gave it to her.
“We were talking about a conclusion I’ve come to,” he said, starting off slowly. “It sort of hit me by surprise, and I haven’t been able to figure out how to tell you. At first I wanted to build you up to it you see. Slowly reveal it so that you weren’t overwhelmed.”
“How’s that going for you?” she asked.
“Well, I kind of abandoned that plan, on the advice of these cowards,” he said, motioning at the empty seats where his friends had