Doc (Ruthless Kings MC #7) - K.L. Savage Page 0,88

from me. I wouldn’t be able to open my eyes the next morning. She’s the only thing that keeps me going. The thought of her living, breathing, before I had the chance to kiss her for the first time, was enough.

Her existence is more than enough to keep my world spinning on its axis.

Walking out the doors of the hospital, I feel horrible leaving Mom here. I’m a bad son. I just… I don’t know. I can’t fucking breathe in that hospital room knowing the breath she’s inhaling is some of the last.

I just need a fucking minute.

I need to be alone with my girl. My woman. My kid.

One night to get my head on straight, and I’ll do whatever I need to do tomorrow when the sun rises over the desert.

I’ll be the man everyone needs me to be.

Tonight, I want to be broken because having it together, stitching yourself up until you’re connecting torn, jagged, cut off pieces…. Eventually everything falls apart.

Maybe I’ve never had myself together, maybe when my dad cut me, he took a part of me I can never get back.

The night air hits me in the face, and when I feel the drying liquid against my face, I forget that I’ve been crying. I stand there for a minute in the silence, the peace, the air, the stars, the dropping sun, and I take my moment.

I fucking reel it in. I never get a moment of peace. Someone always needs a part of me, something from me, my skill, my knowledge, my time; no one ever just wants me. Me as a person, me as a man, me as a friend.

It’s always when someone’s bleeding.

But who is there when I bleed?

Am I the disaster area? Am I where everyone goes to try to get fixed and then I’m left in the debris?

I need a disaster area. I need a place to call my own because I’m not sure how much more weight of the world I can bear. Every cut, every bullet wound, every ounce of blood, every surgery, every time I massage a heart; every time I shock someone to life, it takes a small part of me.

And I don’t know what’s left.

Pieces of me, I suppose.

The unworthy pieces that Jo doesn’t deserve. She needs all of me, and how can I do that when I’m less than half a man?

He didn’t even go to the clubhouse. Eric rented a hotel room down the road from the hospital, so he can stay close just in case anything happens with his mom. He opens the hotel door, and I’m astounded at the sight before me. It’s a suite. There’s a king-size bed to the left, a typical plain desk to the right, but there is a chandelier hanging in the ceiling. There’s a jacuzzi tub in the corner, and a huge vanity against the wall before it disappears into the bathroom. The walls are high, vaulted, reminding me of the ceiling in a church.

“I’m going to take a shower, okay? Relax, order food, watch TV. I’ll be back in a few minutes. I don’t have anything for your bandages, or I’d have you shower with me.” His hand lands on the side of my cheek, but he stares at me for a moment, and he doesn’t say a single word. His eyes are tortured, dark blue stormy orbs that are trying to find the calm. “I love you, you know. I know a lot of shit has gone down. I know we’ve fallen fast, but you and me, this is how it’s supposed to be, Jo. I feel it. In my damn bones, I feel it. Thank you for seeing my mom when you didn’t have to. Thank you for being there. I fucking love you for that.” He smashes his lips against mine. It’s quick, intense, passionate, everything a kiss should be. His tongue tangles with mine, and the space between my thighs tingles, wanting more than just his tongue. I want his body.

I tug on his shirt, gripping the thin material with my fist and deepening the connection, entangling our tongues in a seductive dance. Right as my hand slides up his shirt and his abs ripple against my fingers, he pulls away. His hand squeezes my hip, and he gives me a soft peck, leaving me aching and confused. I know he’s worried about my leg, but I’m fine.

Kind of.

It hurts, but the pain medication helps, and I miss him. We