Doc (Ruthless Kings MC #7) - K.L. Savage Page 0,87

My misery. My heartbreak. It’s the Devil on my shoulder, and he’s laughing, soaking up my torment like a sponge because that’s what keeps him alive.

Like a little boy, I fall to my knees in front of the candles that are burning underneath the cross. There are only a few, and the wax is nearly gone, the wick barely allowing the flame to keep flickering.

“Me and you, we’re going to go rounds,” I tell whoever is listening. “I found it difficult to believe in you before, but now? What the hell do you want from me? Huh? You gave me a father who skinned me, and now…” I snort, wiping my nose on the back of my hand. “And now you want to take my mom? My best friend? What the fuck did I do to you, huh? What did I do!” I scream, grab the cross from it’s holder, and snap it in half. “Fuck. You.” I spread my arms wide and shout toward the ceiling, then laugh. “Strike me dead, you sick, twisted, asshole. What else do you want to do to me, huh?”

A hand lands on my shoulder, and I turn around and see a minister, a pastor, a father, whoever he is. He’s wearing a black shirt and a white collar.

Whoever is he, he’s the voice of God, and me and God, well, I don’t want to talk to him right now.

I’ve never talked to him, honestly, but I’d do anything for my mom. If the Devil came to me and asked for my soul in exchange for her life, without hesitation, I’d give it away. I’d do it for Jo too. She and I haven’t had much time to ourselves; too much has happened, with me saving everyone and her fighting the darkness inside her.

I want peace.

I want everyone in my life to be fucking happy. I need them to be. I need Jo to be. I love her. I love that baby.

I want life to stop fucking with me, for once. I want a goddamn break.

I shrug the man’s hand off me and grip him by the collar. “I’d rather die than pray,” I seethe through my teeth.

“Eric!” Jo snaps at me from the doorway. “Let him go, baby. He’s only trying to help.”

“He can’t,” I choke, letting him go and stumbling back. “No one can.”

“I can,” Jo says confidently, holding out her hand while she balances herself on the crutch. “Come on, let’s go somewhere quiet. Let’s talk.”

I don’t want to talk.

I want to kill.

I want to kill so fucking bad. With my bare hands, I want to squeeze the life out of someone, somewhere. The need is overwhelming.

“God is with you always,” the man of God informs me, slapping me on the shoulder.

“God left me a long time ago,” I add, sliding by the pastor and to the only person I think can save me. I intertwine Jo’s fingers with mine, then say forget it because she can’t hold onto me and her crutches. I bend over and throw her over my shoulder, grabbing her crutches in my other hand.

“Woah, put me down! I swear, you guys carry me everywhere. You’re going to make me vomit. The baby doesn’t like it when I’m upside down.”

I bring her into my arms, in a wedding style hold, and I lift a brow at her. That feeling of needing to murder takes over my veins. “Who the hell has been holding you besides me?” I’m not in the mood to know one of my brothers has touched what is mine.

“Knives, making sure I didn’t trip and hurt the baby,” she grumbles.

Oh.

I’ll think about forgiving him.

“We found your mom, and he carried her to the truck.”

I’ll forgive him.

“For tonight, can I just be with you? Tomorrow, I’ll be with my mom. I thought I had three months, and now … maybe a month. I just need a night where I’m not going to be devastated.

“Whatever you want,” she whispers, her lashes tickling my neck. “I’m sorry, Eric. I’m so sorry. I never wanted this for you.”

“I never wanted what happened to you to happen either, but the world can be unfair.”

“It isn’t unfair right now. You’re the one thing the world got right,” she whispers into my ear as she settles her cheek against my shoulders.

“I’d have to agree with that, Jo-love. I’d have to agree,” I say, alleviated, holding her tighter against me. I’m afraid something, some unknown evil in the world will take her