Dixie’s face. She’d crawled inside herself and hung a virtual sign that read, go away.
So, he did, but driving home he rationalized her response. Josh had lost his shit when he imagined her with another man. Why wouldn’t Dix be just as angry and hurt knowing he’d been with other women?
Most importantly was the deeper meaning. They wouldn’t care if what they once had was truly finished. Over the years, when he’d called the folks, Josh had always asked whether or not they’d heard what happened to her.
“Don’t think I’ve seen that expression on your face…well, ever,” Elijah said, stepping up to his right side.
He’d visited Elijah’s new place many times. Although Eli had shacked up with Rayne, Josh still dropped by for beers a couple times a week. They’d talk shop. Talk about sports. Sometimes they wouldn’t talk at all. Josh always tried to co-ordinate his visits while Rayne worked evening or night shifts. He didn’t want to interrupt the couple still in their honeymoon stage.
Elijah sighed and stepped in front of him. “Don’t keep it bottled up, man. You know what Frogs like us do when that happens. There’s usually a major reckoning that sets us straight but hurts like hell. So, spill your guts.”
He knew Elijah meant well, but… “There’s nothing to spill. I gotta catch this prick so Dixie can be free.”
“Define free,” he said. “Free to live without being hunted? I get that, but that’s not what you’re talking about.”
“Free to trust someone. Meet a guy. Fall in love. Have a family who loves her, because she never had that growing up.” He shrugged. “She needs to be able to turn off the lights at night without wondering if she’ll be breathing in the morning.”
Elijah seamed his lips and gazed at him with a questioning eye. “Yup. Everyone needs that. Especially the falling in love part.” He paused, “But, um… think she already is.”
He shook his head. “No. I burned what we had.”
“You hurt her and now you feel responsible.” Elijah knew the story between him and Dix.
“Yeah, I do. I literally left her to fend for herself against a pack of malicious, cold bastards. Instead of getting easier when she left home, it got far worse. A couple nights ago, I made another mistake. No going backwards with a woman like her.”
“Buddy, you can beat yourself up over the past, but we both know there’s no point in that. Or, you can put on your Frog suit and be a man. Take care of business whether she wants you there or not, providing that sorry sack of an expression on your face is any indication how bad your heart is bleeding out right about now.”
He blinked and painted a grimace onto his mouth. “You’ve never met a woman as strong and stubborn as Dixie.”
Elijah laughed and swung his arm toward the crowd of guests. “Have you met any of the SEAL wives?”
Of course, his buddy was mocking him. He knew all of them. “I hear ya.”
“No, you don’t. These women, each and every one of them, in their own way, are the Rock of Gibraltar. They’re made of silk and spice and handle men like us with an iron fist. Every one of us Frogs have a side of asshole, but the women who accept us don’t waver. Each one was hand-picked, and we love them as fiercely as we protect our country. Dixie was yours long before you stepped foot on the Grinder to prove your shit as a SEAL wannabe.”
“We parted ways. Became two very different people.”
Elijah chuckled. “Bullshit. Look at me and Rayne. I know you scratch your head every time you see us together.”
He cleared his throat and glanced at his best friend. “It’s that obvious?”
“Yeah, just a little. But you know what? Rayne is my soft landing. My primary and secondary chute. I know there’s a difference in our age. Her innocence and zeal contradict everything I am, but that’s why I love her. Why I’m going to marry her. And why I’m asking you to be my best man.”
Josh grinned and gripped his buddy’s shoulder. “I’d be honored, Eli. When’s the big day?”
“After our deployment. It’ll give her and her mother time to figure out the monkey suit I gotta wear and when I have to show up.”
“You’re such a fucking sap when you’re around her,” Josh said, only halfway teasing.
“Maybe, but she lights my dark corners. Every day she reminds me to see the good in people.