Charles and averting my eyes. “Put this back on,” I hissed as the bailiff reached for him from the other side of the table. Charles jumped down to my empty chair, grabbed my shoulder, levered himself to the ground, and quickly dodged behind me. He sure was spry for an old guy.
The bailiff rounded the table and reached over my shoulder to grab at Charles, who used me as a shield. His gnarled hands dug into my shoulders. Please, God, don’t let his penis touch my funeral suit. I’d have to burn it.
With a happy yelp, Charles leapt over the short wooden divider between the gallery and my table. He quickly jumped up and ran along the empty front pew. He stopped for a moment and wiggled his skinny butt my way, treating the gallery to his waving Johnson. The uniform cop sitting in the back stood and stalked down the aisle. The bailiff ran into the row. Between them, they tried to herd Charles toward the aisle. He reached the end of the pew, and the bailiff had him until Charles kicked out and knocked the bailiff into the cop.
With a howl, Charles jumped back over the divider and rammed into me.
My hip slammed against the wooden table, and my skirt snagged on the worn ledge. “The Beast? Is that a pill?” I gasped. How did the old guy know about the illegal drug?
“Yeah, baby.” Charles scaled up to the tabletop again. He did his earlier dance, this time singing that they couldn’t catch the magic penis.
Darn it, my leg would bruise from that. “Tell me about Beast.”
“Got it from a friend because friends are friends forever and also have blue pills,” Charles sang loudly.
What the heck? My adrenaline pumped faster. Was Beast on the streets? “Who is your friend?”
“Can’t tell ya.”
“Enough!” I yelled at Charles and lifted his coat to him. His fuzzy slippers grinned evilly from the table. With a growl, the bailiff made a leap for Charles, who tried to scramble away, but his legs tangled in the coat. His arms windmilled around, and he fell onto me. My face bounced off the edge of the table, and sharp pain lanced through my cheek. I hit the ground, and the wind burst from my lungs. The old naked guy landed atop me, his skinny arms and legs flying in different directions. His coat rested between his penis and my suit, thank goodness.
Charles grabbed my white blouse. A tearing sound filled the air as it ripped down the middle. The bailiff hauled him off me. Then I was free. The bailiff threw the coat over Charles and gave him a good shake. The cop reached two hands under my armpits and lifted me to my feet. I tried to regain my balance only to discover that I’d lost a shoe.
“I’m Bud,” he said in a deep growl as he waited for me to let go of his arms. “Detective Pierce has me on you during work hours.”
On me? “Because of yesterday? The two guys in the van?” I squinted my one good eye up into deep black eyes set in a hard-boned face with a nose that had been broken more than once.
“Yep,” Bud said. “We have a man on you during work and one on your house. Until we catch those guys.”
That was actually sweet. I smiled, and he smiled back. He had a short buzz cut and was basically built like a Mack Truck. “I appreciate the protection. Do you see my shoe?” I stepped back.
Bud nodded and leaned down to grasp my black pump.
I took the shoe. “Thanks.”
He raised an eyebrow the size of a lime. “That’s going to be quite the shiner. Another one.”
At least it was the same side of my face as the other bruise. I leaned down and placed my foot in the shoe. No doubt, I looked terrible. My hair had escaped the braid to frizz wildly around my head, my right eye was closed in pain, and my stockings, skirt, and shirt were ripped. I turned and glared at Charles. He folded his hands in front of him and gave the judge an angelic smile.
“Quite the show, huh?” Charles whispered out the corner of his mouth.
The judge ordered Charles into three-day observation at the county psychiatric hospital. I might have had a duty to argue that he deserved a criminal charge, but my mind still reeled with the images of an old man penis, and I couldn’t make