she tried to process the scathing words flowing from his mouth.
“Is this about Sinclair? I thought you understood that I would never want to be wed to him. I could never. It’s true, he repulses me—”
“No, it’s not. I know you’re smart enough to turn him down.”
“Right, so what’s the problem?”
“How do you know you are any safer, any better off with me than him? And you’re reckless,” he said, speaking with his hands as if he didn’t quite know where to put them. “You’re this crazy woman full of chaotic energy, Lilac, you’ve the discipline of a child and it’s foolish, continuing to put yourself at risk—"
“Putting myself at risk?” Lilac leaned away at his sudden, simmering rage. “I’m safe with you, you’ve proved it time and time again.”
“Does it matter? I frighten you.” He was prowling like an animal now, lips lifted into an annoyed snarl at her bewilderment. “You’ll only trust me so long as I’ve got this curse, these invisible shackles that’ve made me safe. Because that’s the only thing that’s kept me from harming you this entire time, right? Unless you forget what I did to your beloved’s bodyguards.”
He crooned so softly he could have been romancing her. Through the threat in his voice, she could tell he was trying to scare her again.
“While Sinclair was busy groping you against your will, I decapitated the first guard with my bare hands. I drank from the blood flowing freely from his veins, and then hurled his severed head at the second guard who’d fled. It broke his spine upon impact.”
Fuming, Lilac wanted to get up and punch him; instead, she stood—and surprised herself and began to cry. She sunk her nails into per palms. He was being vindictive, to what end? “Must you speak of that as if I’m not here?” she hissed. “Why are you saying all this, where is it coming from?”
“Because I want to prove to you that you cannot humanize me with your feelings,” he said, desperation cracking his voice. “No matter how badly you may want to. You can’t fall for the good in me and ignore the dark. I am one of the creatures your kingdom hates and I always will be. Despite my brokenness, I’m still a monster, princess. One you cannot fix.”
He stared down at her exposed, healed throat. He would kill her; it’d be the end of the Trecésson line, then and there. After all they’d been through, he wouldn’t make her suffer. He couldn’t.
But his mouth continued to move over his fangs. “The night we’d met, I’ll admit it was Adelaide’s curse that stopped me from biting you. However, Your Highness, in all the ways I crave you right now,” he muttered, bending to speak against her forehead, “neither hell nor high water could stop me from having my way. The entire Breton Cavalry could come for my head, and yet… yet, just a taste of your exquisite blood from the vein would be worth it.”
“Why haven’t you?” she challenged.
His mouth pulled into a hard line as he struggled with his composure. Instead of answering, he hung his head.
“I wish not to fix you,” she said softly. Only to… To what? To love him? “You won’t push me away by scaring me. I’m afraid of a lot of things. I’m not the bravest woman, nor do I pretend to be her. I feared all of the things in Brocéliande, yet, I came at her with all I had.”
The vampire studied her carefully. At least he was listening.
“None of this was a concern to you when you tried to trap me at the inn,” she scoffed. “Or when you dragged me to your Mine.
So, if you want to talk about the guilt of being a monster, by all means.”
Her breaths came in deep snarls now. “The shapeshifter I’d found in our kitchen was executed, beheaded right in front of me.
Since then, my own parents have rarely looked me in the eye. I was told I wasn’t allowed into any of the towns, forbidden from setting foot outside the castle grounds for fear their cursed daughter would be seen. To this day, everyone sees my reign as a horrible omen, and I’ve carried that for years, Garin.” She swallowed her tears. “Just as you’ve carried Adelaide. What I’m saying is… We all have demons, but we can’t hold onto them long enough for them to turn us into monsters. And for one godforsaken moment,” she tried—and failed—to keep