Dirty Thoughts - Megan Erickson Page 0,54

not your fault. I’m not sorry this weekend happened, but I am sorry if I hurt you. Believe me, that’s the last thing I want to do.”

Each sentence, each word, each syllable was a wave crashing against her. She struggled to breathe as the meaning behind what he was saying soaked her to the bone.

He wasn’t done. “And now, I got that kid out there who needs me, so that’s what I’m focusing on. You’re a part of what makes him happy, so I’m hoping you can stand being around me because of what it means to him.”

That was a lot of words for Cal. A lot of words and a lot of honesty. Really, did she expect any less? Cal wanted to pretend he had a hardened heart, but she didn’t believe that. Not one bit. Cal was tapped out? No more energy for someone else? That was all bullshit. The kid in the kitchen who’d stolen their hearts in one day proved otherwise.

She knew this was dangerous to slip into this surrogate parenting role for Asher. But how could she say no? “I’ll do anything to help Asher. And you.”

Cal nodded. He ducked his head and stepped back, hands on his hips.

“You guys coming?” Asher called.

“Yeah, coming now!” Cal called. He glanced at her, his lips shifting, and then he lunged forward, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and took off down the hallway. She was left staring at his back before she gathered herself together to join the guys in the kitchen.

Asher was standing over a plate of brownie crumbs. “I started without you guys. Hope that’s okay. They smelled really good.”

Jenna grabbed a plate and cut out a huge square of brownie. She needed chocolate. Like, yesterday. “So are you settling in okay?”

“I met my brothers!” This kid had the biggest eyes, and when he widened them, they took up his whole face.

“Ah, and how are Max and Brent?”

“They were really nice. And we had steaks and played video games. And they told me stories about how they grew up. And then Cal and I made you brownies to say thank you.” Asher pointed to the dish proudly.

Cal shoved a brownie in his mouth and then leaned against the counter, his eyes on Jenna. She wished he’d look away, at Asher, anything but stare at her with those damn eyes.

Asher spun his half-full glass of milk. “I wonder if my mom will call again. To ask me to come back.”

Jenna lifted her gaze to Cal, whose jaw had hardened. He looked away, and a muscle in his cheek ticked. “We’ll stay in touch with her and make sure when you do go back, you feel safe.”

The look of hero worship on Asher’s face as he gazed at Cal made Jenna’s chest ache.

This was dangerous, she knew, but in that moment, any other option seemed wrong. Asher wanted to feel safe and cared for, and the kid probably wanted a damn friend too. She could make excuses, tell them she was busy at work—which wasn’t a lie—but why crush the kid? He was already attached.

She met Cal’s gaze again over Asher’s bent head. He blinked once, those long dark lashes fanning his cheeks. Damn him, because no matter how much she knew that they didn’t have a future, that wouldn’t keep her from thinking all the dirty thoughts about him that she wanted, now that she had a vivid memory of what it was like to be with him. The man Cal, not the boy.

His eyes darkened a little, like he could read her thoughts.

She shoved another brownie in her mouth and turned away.

Chapter Seventeen

CAL PARKED HIS truck behind the garage on Monday morning and turned to look at Ash. The kid was staring out of the window at the Payton and Sons building.

“Kid.”

Asher turned to him, biting his lip.

“My dad’s name is Jack. And he’s . . . a little scary, okay? He’s pretty much a miserable bastard, but he means well. Kind of.”

Asher looked even more uncertain now. Cal sighed. “Just do what I say and don’t expect any warm fuzzies from the guy, all right? He barely tolerates us, and we’re his kids.” Cal opened up the door of the truck.

“Is he gonna hate me?” Asher’s voice was weak.

Cal froze on his way out of the truck. “What?”

“Is he gonna”—Asher fidgeted with his hands in his lap—“resent me or something?”

Cal blew out a breath. “Nah, kid, he’s not going to hate you or resent