Dirty Thoughts - Megan Erickson Page 0,53

and normally, this was the part Jenna loved.

But it was hard to concentrate when her mind kept drifting to Cal. She wanted to forget about him, toss the thought of him out with her trash, but that wasn’t possible. It was worse now, since he’d shown a little bit of the Cal she once knew. This Cal was harder, more cynical, and a hell of a lot more stubborn.

But he’d made it clear that he wanted to be alone. He didn’t want a relationship, not with her, not with anyone.

And she had dignity. She’d been this close to begging, but she’d been saved by the doorbell, thank God. She wasn’t going to chase Cal and try to convince him that she was worth it. It wasn’t a matter of his not being able to see a future with her; it was that he didn’t want to, she thought. And if he didn’t want to, there was no changing that.

He was happy on his little island all by himself.

And so there’d he stay.

Which made her as miserable as it made him.

There was a knock at the door, and Jenna checked the clock. It was almost nine at night. She stood up, straightening her cotton shorts and tank top.

She glanced through the peephole of her front door and blinked. But nope, her vision was correct. Cal and Asher stood on her front porch, the light by her door illuminating their faces in the dark. Cal was staring right at the peephole, just like he’d done Friday night.

Asher held a foil-covered dish.

She wished she could read body posture better, but the peephole didn’t allow for that. So she took a deep breath and opened the door.

Immediately, she smelled brownies.

Those damn brownies.

Asher held the dish higher, beaming ear-to-ear. “Hi, Jenna. I wanted to say thank you for today, so I made you brownies.”

She smiled at him. “That’s so sweet of you. Good thing you had those brownies on hand, huh?” She winked at Asher, who laughed. Cal said nothing, his face frustratingly blank.

She stepped back. “Well, why don’t you come inside. I bet you’d like some too, right?”

Asher’s cheeks reddened. “Yeah, sure, if that’s okay with you.”

She ushered him to walk past her, and she pointed down her hallway. “Go right ahead through to the kitchen.”

Asher trotted off, and she turned to Cal, who hadn’t moved. She leaned against the door. “You want some brownies too?”

He stepped inside, brushing his boots on the mat inside her door. Another step and he was in front of her, the door shut behind him.

It’d been less than twenty-four hours since they’d woken up in the same bed, since he’d been inside of her. Her mind wanted to forget, but her body sure as hell didn’t. Despite all the things they’d said to each other today, all the times he’d said he didn’t want a future with her, she couldn’t seem to slip her libido the memo.

He hadn’t shaved today, and a hint of gray was mixed in the scruff on his jaw. Those piercing eyes were on her, studying her. “Hey,” he finally said, his deep voice soft.

“Hi,” she answered.

Cal wore jeans and a T-shirt, his uniform, but hell, no one wore it better than him. His gaze shifted down the hall and then back to her. “Asher, uh, he likes you a lot.”

“I like him too.”

Cal ran his tongue over his teeth. “I realize that staying away from each other would be ideal, but, uh, I don’t know how that will fly with the kid. He’s got a shitty mom and you’re . . . well, you’re just about the opposite of shitty.”

“Such a flowery compliment.”

Cal’s lips tilted into a smile, and he scratched his head, a blush staining his cheeks. “Yeah, you know me. Poet.”

“So you trying to tell me that you’ll suffer through my presence to keep Asher happy?” She smiled, to take the sting out of the words.

“Should I pour some milk for us?” Asher called from the kitchen.

“Yep. Be there in a minute!” Cal yelled back.

“Cal—”

He stepped closer, right into her space. His chest brushed hers, the heat from his body seeping in to her skin. She sucked in a breath as those intense eyes locked on hers. “It’s not easy to be around you. I’ll be honest about that. Because you remind me of all the things I used to want. So yeah, it’s hard to look at you and not see everything I failed at. But that’s on me. That’s