a lot of money for. Rick agreed to help his father, then came to me and told me everything they had planned, and set it up to have him busted this time. He told me he would only do it if I made sure he was arrested with his father. He wants to go back and pay for the crime he’s been running from and deal with all the legal issues from that, so he can be himself again. If he had told you everything, then tried to move on with you and ignore his past, it’d put you at risk too. You’d be just as guilty as him, especially in your profession, knowing he’s a criminal. He’s trying to protect you and get his life back at the same time. That’s why he’s pushing you away and trying to sever everything. Why do you think he went off on Decker and severed all his ties to the firm too?”
I cup a hand over my mouth the second he explains it all. I know Wells thinks Rick is doing all this to better his life, and I’m sure that’s part of it, but if he hadn’t met me, he’d be doing the same things he always did. He’d still be hiding in plain sight, being the same person he was pretending to be. “So they wouldn’t knowingly be employing an unlicensed PI.” I nod as I say it.
I don’t want to make it about me, but I know it is. I told him he was a good man, and to do the right thing.
That’s what he did.
I wish this didn’t hurt so much. I wish I could take away his childhood and give him the one he deserved. I can’t just sit by while he ruins his life, though.
I have to fight for him, protect him, the way he’s trying to protect me.
Dominic Romano
You don’t really know how long time can stretch until you’ve been in jail for a few hours. Nothing but a couple hard walls and voices echoing off concrete. Nothing but time for your mind to contemplate in minute detail everything you’ve ever done in your life.
It was so surreal when they booked me and said my real name out loud. I hadn’t heard it in so long. Reality slapped me right back in the face, fifteen years of work, progress, up in smoke instantly. In some ways, I think reverting to my old self is helping with the Mary situation. It makes it easier to compartmentalize that problem. She was Rick’s, not mine.
It sounds ridiculous, but how else am I supposed to live with myself after crushing her? I’m just trying to do what’s right. Maybe one day I can turn things around for Dominic and things can work out. But I have to protect her and fix myself. I want to. It’s the only way I can be worthy of her. It’s the only way I can look anyone in the eye going forward.
A guard beats on the holding cell door. They haven’t moved me in with the rest of the people in jail yet.
“Romano, this way.”
There’s a hum, and the bolt retracts. I stand up.
The guard takes a step back. “Try anything and I’ll put the cuffs back on, got it?”
I nod. “What’s going on?”
He doesn’t respond. I’ve noticed these guys aren’t much for answering my questions, at least not the ones they find irrelevant to their day. I’m sure they’re used to dealing with assholes nonstop, so I don’t take it personally. He leads me down the corridor and around a corner. As soon as we walk up, I know what this is, and I want no part of it. It’s a place to talk to visitors, and I already know who it’s going to be, even if she found me faster than I expected.
Goddamn it, Covington, you liar.
The guard stays behind me, lightly shoving me toward the cubicles with a wall of plexiglass. “Walk. What’s wrong with you?”
The second I see her face, the recognition in her eyes, then see her stare move to my wrinkled orange jumpsuit, the look of pity… I can’t take it.
I stop in my tracks. “I don’t want to do this. Do I have to do this?”
“Hell no, makes my job easier.” He grabs me by the arm to turn me around.
“No! Please!” Mary comes up out of her seat, her hands on the glass, voice muffled. She beats her hand on the window a couple times.