Dirty Playboy - Alex Wolf Page 0,80

I wouldn’t be able to hold it together if we were alone. Mary’s a professional, takes her job seriously, and she won’t cause a scene here. She won’t freak out or have a breakdown until later. This is going to hurt her, but it’s better than the alternative.

This should go quickly. At one time I was proud of being an asshole, having the ability to push people away. At least now I can make it quick and try to be as painless as possible about it.

The second her eyes meet mine they burn a hole in my face. Even receiving her disappointed glare, my first instinct is to go hold her, apologize, beg for forgiveness. I have to do what’s best for her, though. I have to keep her safe, even if it crushes both of us.

I start toward her and know she’ll walk away before I get there. I know what she’ll do before she does it. It’s how she is. I predict people for a living, and she’ll make me come to her, in her territory, on her terms. I would expect nothing less.

She turns into the breakroom, and I follow her in. Quinn is over by the refrigerator, rummaging through it. She looks over at the two of us, sees the look on Mary’s face, then looks at me like I feel sorry for your ass. Within a millisecond, she’s on her way out the door, without a word.

I glance over at Mary. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look mad a day in her life, but the look she gives me… I didn’t know she had it in her. Part of me wants to march over there and kiss her until she smiles again.

Do what you need to do. Get it over with.

“Morning.” Probably not the best opening line, but it’ll do the job it’s supposed to do.

Mary doesn’t respond. Just folds her arms over her chest and glares at me. I could apologize right now, and she’d forgive me. I know she would. It would take a few days, but I could still overcome this. I could tell her everything, and she’d understand. I can see it now. You can tell how much someone cares about you by how pissed off they get when you wrong them.

“Work going okay?”

She doesn’t flinch. Her eyes sear into mine and she says, very cold and calculated, “Where were you?”

I shrug. “What do you mean?”

Her expression doesn’t change, other than her jaw clenching tight. God, I love her so damn much. The rage I feel inside, and the shame, mixes together to form the most toxic cocktail of emotions I’ve ever experienced. Can I really hurt her like this? Am I really about to sever the only real connection I’ve ever had with anyone? Can I really protect her from me?

“You mad or something?” Fuck, my acting is horrific. I sound like an idiot, and it has to be so obvious what I’m doing.

She takes a few steps toward me but stops far enough away that I can’t touch her or make any kind of physical contact. “The truth. Now.”

I snicker, but I can barely fake the smile to convince her of it. “Jesus, what’s your deal?” I know saying Jesus will piss her off, speed this thing along.

Her eyebrows narrow just slightly, but other than that she remains remarkably calm. “I thought…”

I can see her breaking on the inside. It’s happening slowly, but it’s happening. She finally starts to show that vulnerable side, and I can’t take it. I have to do something to make this end, so I cut her off. “Thought what, Mary?” I shrug. “We had some fun together. I stay busy with work, though. I can’t have you on my case about every little thing.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t even know who you are right now. What are you even saying?”

Manipulating people’s emotions is what I do all day long, with zero conscience about it, and now, it’s a fucking sledgehammer to the chest. My heart beats for this woman and I can’t have her. At least not right now. If I thought there was a way, I’d tell her everything in a heartbeat. I’d beg relentlessly for forgiveness. I just can’t.

“You’re acting like a jealous psycho. What do you think is going on between us?”

She glances up at me and I can tell I’ve already destroyed her, but she has too much pride to let me see it. “Nothing. Obviously.” She