arms wrapped around herself in a hug, she looked to Arrick and me. “Take care of her.”
“I will.” Strength resonated in his voice and I felt his arm slide around my waist as he held me to him. The vibration of his heart pounded against my shoulder blades.
Before I knew it we were saying our goodbyes and making our way out the front door. Letting go of Jacklyn was a lot harder than I had expected. I had never realized how much she really meant to me. Maybe because I was always too busy being a rebellious teenager. Maybe because I would never allow myself to, period. Or maybe, after having spent so much time with Ione and Evilyn, I had begun to truly appreciate how much the women in my life had done for me, and all they had sacrificed.
There was so much more I wanted to talk to her about; things I wanted to ask her, but they would have to wait. Now wasn’t the time to reveal I knew the truth about my birth; that she had adopted me and I was a vampire by birthright. I’d already dropped one bomb on her already. Maybe she had never intended to tell me I was adopted, or perhaps she had been waiting till the right time, but it really didn’t matter. I knew who my real parents were now, and that was all that mattered. Jaclyn would still always hold a very special place in my heart no matter how I came into her life.
Arrick opened the door of the car and I dropped inside with the weight of the world on my shoulders. He slid into the driver’s seat beside me seconds later, shutting the door with a nearly inaudible click. “You okay?”
I nodded feebly in answer.
“Come here.” He opened his arms and I leaned over, resting my head against his chest. My tears had subsided, but a dreadful feeling was bleeding out into my heart. Should I have forced her to come with us? At least then I’d know she’d be safe.
“You did the right thing,” he answered the questions that were twirling in my mind.
“Then why do I feel like I’m abandoning her? I feel like I just left some helpless lamb out in the field for the wolves!”
“It was her choice Claire. You accepted her decision, and that meant a lot to her. Didn’t you feel it?” I shook my head. All I felt was my own self-loathing. He rested his cheek against the top of my head after depositing a small kiss there. “You’ve got to open yourself up. Stop fighting the emotions inside you. There’s a whole world out there and you’re blocking it all out.”
“Of course I’m blocking it out!” I screamed at him, pulling my body away from his embrace. “All there is in this world is pain! Why should I let myself feel that?”
His eyes grew sad. “You know that’s not true.” He tried to pull me to him again, but I refused. A sigh escaped his lips as he turned away from me. I watched him gaze out at the night sky as he swallowed hard. “You try so hard to protect yourself from being hurt. Are you that afraid of feeling all the good things in this world? All the love?”
I opened my mouth to argue, but then I realized he was right. I was terrified of losing those I cared about. So much so, that I was keeping them at arm’s length. I was refusing to allow myself to feel what I truly felt for them, and in doing so, the only emotion that seeped through was anger. Anger that I couldn’t be with the ones I loved. Anger that I couldn’t protect them, and anger that those I loved always left me.
“You’re right.” My words were breathy as they choked on my emotion. I finally understood my anger; the rage that I could never seem to contain. All this time it was me who was hurting me most.
Arrick turned, pain etched into his expression. “She loved you very much, Claire. She wasn’t choosing to stay behind because she didn’t want to go with you, but because she wanted to protect you. If you could only have felt the love she has for you… the love I have for you.”
My breath caught in my throat again and tears clung desperately to my lashes. I felt the love exuding from him like a warm heat that caressed