guys, but then, I did let her off the hook for lying to me for a whole year, so we're pretty even. Still, it's likely she's going to flip when she sees me drive up in the front seat of this damn car.
This fucking goddamn overpriced ostentatious Aston freaking Martin.
I almost never want to see it again, now that I've escaped the purgatory that was the Gas and Go parking lot. But I'm too excited to be sitting here, heading toward Crescent Preparatory Academy with three guys willing to make something weird, something new work. Or at least try to.
“Sonja's knuckle-deep in your bestie,” Raz growls out, and I roll my eyes as Calix scoffs and Barron groans.
“For Christ's sake,” Barron murmurs. “This is our first day at school with Karma, so can you chill?”
“I can't believe I agreed to this shit,” Raz whispers under his breath, glancing briefly back at me. But for all they did, and all they want from me, they're going to have to deal with it. At least for now. Who knows what the future holds, but I'm more than willing to give it a go. One, because I know that if I get the chance, I'll keep all three boys close to my heart forever. But also because I'm not afraid of anything anymore.
Life is about consequence and choice, about living with the knowledge that every single thing you do affects somebody else in some way. I'm not sure why I was chosen for a once in a lifetime opportunity like I got, but I'm grateful because I know I won't take another step without remembering that what I do matters, who I am matters, and how important we all are to each other, whether we know it or not.
Raz has flaws. Barron has flaws. Fuck, Calix definitely has flaws.
But so do I.
I'm willing to help them realize theirs, but only if they're willing to help me with mine.
“She's with Luke, huh?” I say, thinking about what a wild card Sonja's always been, with her bloodred hair and bright green eyes. She beat the crap out of Erina for me once. Well, for Calix, but still. At the same time, I saw her on days when she was prepared to fuck Luke over the same way Calix had done me. But she is Raz's best friend, and he's not nearly as bad as he seems, so I figure there must be a heart buried in there somewhere. That, and … Luke seems to be in love with her. That’s enough for me.
“They'll meet us there,” Calix says, glancing briefly my way, his eyes hard and dark as always, but with an undertone of tenderness, a softness that says our midnight conversation last night was as good for him as it was for me. I climbed out on the roof at night, my glittery stag's mask on my forehead, my phone on speaker and sitting next to me as I looked up at the stars of another night, a different pattern from the same one I lived over and over and over again. And the moon, the moon was different, too. “Some of the others might have trouble dealing with this.”
“And by this, you mean me?” I ask, glancing back to find Raz and Barron watching me. No matter how old I get, or how many things I see and do, how many people I meet, I'll always remember pushing Raz in the ice-cold creek. Looking at butterflies at midnight in the devil's woods with Barron. Listening for ghosts as Calix and I held each other like we were the last people in the world.
“I mean you,” Calix says with a small frown. “Erina, for example.” He grits his teeth as he says her name. Letting the sex tape go, now that was hard, one of the hardest choices I once might've thought I'd ever make, especially since it meant letting Erina off the hook. But only for now. Once Calix's parents find out that she’s the one who uploaded the photos, they'll press charges. She'll pay at some point, even if it isn't today. “They won't want you to hang out with them.”
“Her hang out with them?” Raz asks, shaking his head. “Nope. It's them lucky enough to hang out with us, so if they can't deal, then screw them. They can get fucked.”
“Right,” Calix says with a sideways smirk as Barron grins and hands a purple lollipop toward me. I take it with