Florence when we were younger supplied enough memories to last him. He was more interested in spending every moment with me.
We had yet to have a conversation about how long he planned to stay. I also waited with bated breath for the next logical question to be asked—what day was I flying home? With Christmas nine days away, I didn’t know if he assumed we would go home together, or he’d suggest we stay in Italy. Surprisingly, those questions never came, and I cowardly hoped it didn’t happen during our meal.
The fact that I was nervous about having dinner with the man I’d known practically my entire life was ridiculous. He’d been through everything with me, and I with him. Three or four hellish months eclipsing more than ten years of happiness shouldn’t have played a factor. For the second time in all those months, I needed to do something strictly for me and not for us.
But as we ate the pasta primavera that I’d whipped up for us, being away from my bedroom undoubtedly allowed logic to creep back into his mind, and with that, questions began to be asked.
My time to avoid was up.
“I’m surprised you haven’t started packing,” he said around a mouthful of pasta. “Don’t you have finals this week?”
“Yes… so you’re not allowed to distract me,” I deflected, raising my fork at him for emphasis.
“I’ll try not to. Actually, if you direct me, I’ll pack for you.” I watched as he twirled another clump of linguini around his fork, hating myself because I was about to ruin his meal. He had no clue while happily devouring more pasta until his eyes met mine and the fork laden with his next bite remained suspended midair. “What’s wrong?”
Bile rose in my throat, making the remaining part of my dinner impossible to stomach. Lowering my fork, I tried to avoid his questioning gaze, but Shane wouldn’t allow it. “Alivia.”
“I… um… need to tell you something.”
That prompted him to drop his fork. “Okay.”
“My flight home is not until the twenty-third.”
“Oh… okay. That’s fine. I thought we’d leave a few days sooner than that, but I left mine open-ended until I knew for sure.”
“That’s not all… my flight back is on the tenth of January.”
“Flight back?”
I took his hand in mine, and forced a swallow before admitting, “I decided to finish the school year here in Florence.”
He yanked his arm away, but it was the silence that hurt more than the rejection.
Shane
Never would that possibility have crossed my mind. I knew she loved Florence. I knew she had discovered a passion for the art world. I even knew she loved living on her own, as she had these past three months. So, really, her announcement shouldn’t have been a shock.
Then why was I stunned silent? Hurt that she’d made this decision without me? Annoyed at myself for assuming we would slip right back into our norm?
“Say something,” she prompted. And still, I couldn’t find my voice. “Shane, it’s just a few more months.”
“It’s four more months, Liv.”
“Okay… but look how fast the last three went.”
“For you, maybe.” I pushed back my chair, causing the wooden legs to scrape along the ceramic tile.
She didn’t say a word until she saw me snatch my coat off the rack near the door. “Where are you going?”
“I need air.” In fact, I needed it so badly I shrugged into my coat while running down the stairs and right out the front door. Back and forth I paced, dragging in one deep breath after another and talking to myself. A few passing by stared at me, but that didn’t stop the panic attack swelling inside my chest.
Regardless, I couldn’t seem to force my feet to walk away… not metaphorically, at least. Tonight, I had planned to tell her that while she studied back in the city, I would record my album. I would take the time to do it right, and she could take the time to do her own thing. What mattered was we did it all together.
But the more I thought about it, the more her news didn’t matter. Really, nothing needed to change except location. This was something she wanted to do, and I would support her during it come hell or high water… as she had supported me.
Forcing myself to think it through, I walked around the block. There was a lot for me to say, and I wanted to make sure it came out right.
When I came full circle back