and getting his beer for the rest of my life? No thanks. Besides, being a cop is all I know how to be.”
“Right there with you, girl.” Little does she know.
“It isn’t just my working. He hates this job. Last week, after that guy I arrested punched me, he said he’d leave if I didn’t quit.”
“Oh, man.” I put my hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Jules. What are you gonna do?”
She downs half the beer and sits back. “I dunno. Cassidy, what would you do? If a guy expected you to give up your job?”
I don’t have to think about that one. I take a swig of beer. “I’d leave.”
She widens her eyes. “Even if you loved the guy? Even after two years?”
I consider Arcayos and a familiar trapped feeling takes hold.
The door opens and Tyrone and Arcayos come out, throwing punches at each other and laughing. My stomach tightens. Can he make me quit?
I nod. “I wouldn’t be able to quite my job for any man. No matter how I felt about him.”
“You’ve got a hell of a hook.” Tyrone’s voice drifts from the porch. “I want a sparring match with you tomorrow. In the gym.”
“Tomorrow it is,” Arcayos says.
I shake my head. He’s completely won them all over. I wish it didn’t make my stomach hurt thinking about it.
Julie raises a brow at me. “You really don’t like this, do you?”
“What?” I take another drink, enjoying the cool tickle as the beer goes down, warming my belly.
She taps a long ash off the end of her cigarette. “How well Hawk is getting on with the rest of us.”
I sigh. “It’s petty, isn’t it?” Better she thinks I’m just jealous, hoarding my friends.
“Stupid is a better word. I know you like him, Cass.”
I look sharply at her.
“The way you look at him? Why don’t you just admit it?”
“It’s complicated.” I look out at the lake, watching the waves lap.
“Why—” She stops and puts a hand on my arm, nodding toward Tyrone and Arcayos, both standing at the railing.
“…bother denying it,” Tyrone says. “I see the way you are with her, Hawk.”
Arcayos clears his throat. “Tyrone, I wouldn’t—”
“Relax, man. I won’t say nothing to the boss. Just stick your tongue down her throat and get it over with.”
Julie snickers.
I’m gonna kill Tyrone.
Arcayos looks at the sky. “Does everyone else know?”
“Not yet. And I won’t tell them.”
“Not even the captain?”
“Nope.”
“What about this no fraternization thing?”
“Look, bro. Just keep it on the down low for now. Honestly, you’re Colburn’s golden cop. I get the feeling he wouldn’t care as long as you were discreet about it.”
“And what about you?” I detect something in his voice I can’t read.
“Me? Look, Cass is like a sister to me. Always has been.”
My heart swells. Even from here, I can see some of the tension go out of Arcayos.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to her. You’re good for her. She needs a good guy in her life.”
My teeth grind. Leave it to Tyrone to try to set me up with him.
Arcayos squeezes his shoulder. “Thanks. That means a lot.”
“Sure. But Hawk?”
“Yeah.”
“Hurt her, and I’ll pound you into next Thursday.”
They disappear inside and I seethe.
“See?” Julie grins, crushing her cigarette out in an ashtray sitting on the arm of the swing. “Tyrone’s stamp of approval. He has to be a good guy if the Jacksons like him.”
Oh, she so doesn’t get it.
I say nothing to Arcayos as he drives me back to my apartment a couple of hours later, looking out the window and wishing he wasn’t sitting in my driver’s seat.
He reaches over and closes his hand over mine. The warmth of it seeps into me. I want so badly to seek comfort in it, but instead I slip my hand out of his.
Arcayos sets his hand on the steering wheel. They look so huge, so strong.
“You really like being a cop, don’t you?” he says huskily without taking his eyes off the road.
My heart jumps. I lick my lips, determined not to read too much into the question.
His eyes veer toward the medal where I set it on the dash. He’s silent for a second. “What made you decide to become a cop, Cassidy?”
I swallow. There’s a loaded question. “It’s…” I sigh. “There’s a lot of reasons. It’s complicated.”
“Tell me.”
“Why? Will it matter?” Why am I being so defensive?
“Please,” he says gently.
Where do I even begin? What do I tell him?
I don’t want to tell him any of it. So much of