sharing?” I rested my chin in my hand and considered our options. “I think we should do something more than dinners. Something where both genders can benefit. If you want to build bridges, go all-in.”
Emily was watching me with a slightly stunned look on her face.
“It’ll be okay,” I reassured her. “If we talk to Matt about our concern, he’ll help us find a solution, and he’ll back us. He wants his people fed, too. And the more survivors from Tenacity who come over to Team Fey, the more people there will be to go on supply runs for Tenacity. That means more food for both settlements. So it’s a win-win all around.”
“You want to help with this?” she asked. “Help me talk to Matt?”
I thought about it for a minute. I hated the idea that I’d created another perception for myself, the mean one that Merdon kept shoving in my face. How many fake smiles had I thrown out thinking I was so smart just to have everyone see through them? I didn’t want to be that fake person anymore. I wanted to be helpful. Useful. Needed. Mostly, I wanted to be liked again.
“I think I do. Is that okay?”
She smiled, looking a little close to tears, and nodded.
“No,” Merdon said abruptly. “This morning proved you’re not ready. Leave your plate and get downstairs.”
I whirled on him.
“What is your problem? Why can’t you just be nice for one damn minute?”
He bared his teeth and slowly leaned toward me. I wasn’t intimidated. I was too mad for that.
“You don’t need nice. If you did, you’d be with Shax. Are you going downstairs, or do you need help?”
“Merdon,” Emily said, “she just—”
He held up his hand, demanding her silence, his gaze never leaving mine.
“Fine. Downstairs time. Nice scratch on your face, by the way,” I said before turning my back on him.
The smack across my ass robbed me of breath, and I faltered a step.
“Merdon!”
Emily’s gasp of outrage fueled my anger. Without looking back, I continued to the basement.
Merdon didn’t immediately follow me. I could hear the murmur of their voices overhead as I paced the mat. I was tired of his attitude and spankings. I was also tired in general and knew he’d have me shaking with exhaustion with no energy to eat.
He came down the steps on quiet feet, watching me closely.
“Wasn’t this morning’s impromptu session enough for today?”
“No.” He began to crouch.
I marched over to him and grabbed his face. It wasn’t an aggressive hold but an insistent one. I didn’t want to end up face down on the mat.
“I’ve been humiliated twice today, yelled at, and guilted more times than I can count. I’ve cried, I’ve been angry, and I’ve been more thoughtful than I have been in a long time. I’m physically and emotionally wrung out. Please, don’t do this. I really don’t want to miss out on Emily’s pot roast because I’d rather sleep than eat when you’re done with me.”
The muscle in his jaw twitched under my palm as I waited for his response. His fingers circled my wrists and gently tugged my hands free of his skin.
“No more spanking,” he said softly.
My lips started to lift in a grateful smile.
“Biting only. I will try to break the skin.”
“What!”
The word barely escaped my mouth before he crouched once more. I scrambled away, my brain chanting “oh-shit, oh-shit, oh-shit” as I realized the severity of my situation. Biting had been scary before. Knowing that he now wanted to draw blood was beyond terrifying. The sound of my heart thundered in my ears as I fought to control my panic so I could focus.
Merdon circled me slowly. I didn’t take my eyes off of him. When he lunged at me, I tumbled into a roll and popped up on the other side, already putting distance between us. He grunted and backed off, only to charge at me anew.
Again and again, he came at me, a relentless assault that wore me down. It didn’t take long before I was panting and struggling to stay out of his grasp. Aches and cramps tweaked my muscles, slowing me further. I knew landing on the mat was inevitable, and my mind raced with possible ways to avoid a bite after he brought me down.
The planning saved me more times than I cared to admit. One of the times, I managed a palm thrust under his chin, which made his teeth slip from my skin and clack together before he could