food in them now, including an unopened bag of chips.
“I’ve been craving chips,” she said with a quick grin over her shoulder. “So why was Merdon angry when he left?”
She took a seat at the table and opened the bag, holding it out to me. I took a chip and joined her.
“I hit him in the dick.”
Her laughter echoed off the walls.
“What’d he do to deserve that?”
“He’s been spanking me and biting me, supposedly all in the name of teaching me to avoid infection. I think he just likes being a mean asshole.”
“Would a mean asshole set up time for you to learn to shoot a bow?” she asked before crunching on a chip.
“I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“He’s doing it because you asked him to.”
Stunned, I remembered saying it when he woke me this morning.
“I can’t believe he took me seriously.”
Angel’s humor faded a bit.
“There’s nothing he takes more seriously. And, for the record, he wasn’t mad when he came to talk to me.”
“Why did he come talk to you and not Brenna?”
“Because he wanted to know if I thought you’d really shoot him with a bow if you knew how.”
Angel’s previous question poked at my mind. He was worried I’d try to shoot him and still wanted me to learn? Merdon was confusing the hell out of me, and I didn’t like it.
“I think I have the perfect place to practice,” I said with a sudden smile.
“Where?”
“Tell Brenna we’ll meet by the burned dildo pile.”
Chapter Seventeen
I woke with a gasp, my heart thundering in my ears as I bolted upright in my bed and looked at my hand. The feel of the knife lingered in my palm, but nothing was there. No sticky blood and no knife. A shaky exhale turned into a sob. Why wouldn’t the dreams stop? How many times did I need to relive those moments for it to be enough?
Something to my left rustled, and I swiveled, my panic rising once more.
Merdon was leaning forward in his chair, his elbows braced on his knees as he watched me.
For a confused moment, I stared back. I itched to climb out of bed and crawl into his lap. I knew he’d comfort me. But I couldn’t forget the kiss he’d given me. If I went to him now, knowing what he was thinking, I’d be signing away the tattered remnants of my soul.
“Tell me what you dream,” he said softly.
Guilt and shame raged inside of me, and I suddenly understood why I still dreamed. What I’d done was so horrible, it belonged in the dark. So it would stay there, always.
Turning my back on him, I snuggled under the covers and tried to tell myself everything was fine. It wasn’t until my breathing calmed and my tears dried that I wondered how I’d gotten to my bed. After Angel had left, I’d turned on a movie. Obviously, I’d lost the fight and fallen asleep.
I closed my eyes, knowing the answer to my question sat in the chair beside my bed.
I stretched myself awake, then froze as I realized how wrong that was. Cautiously opening my eyes, I looked around my room. Daylight streamed into my window, and the chair was empty. I sat up, not believing my eyes.
What new game was Merdon playing?
Worried, I got out of bed and quickly dressed before jogging downstairs.
“Morning,” Emily said cheerily from her place in the kitchen.
I scanned the room.
“He’s not here,” Emily said. “He left when I woke up but said he’d see you later. Are you really meeting up with Brenna for archery lessons?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
I sat at the island and watched Emily move around. She had corned beef hash frying on the stove and was pulling a platter of pancakes out of the oven.
“Where’d we get all the food?” I asked, recalling the stuffed cupboards.
Emily smiled.
“The supply shed is overflowing. The group that leaves to find provisions located a distribution center, full to the rafters with all kinds of food. Ryan tried getting Matt to take half, but he refused, so the fey are distributing everything to make room in the supply shed. If you’re craving something more than chips, just let me know. I can probably get it.”
“I’m not craving anything, but I’ll keep that in mind.”
She dished me up two pancakes and a healthy serving of hash and set the plate before me.
“Thanks,” I said before digging in.
The sound of a sniffle had me looking up at Emily’s tearing eyes.