Pivoting on my heel, I stalked off in the other direction. At least, the confrontation had satisfied one need. I now knew where to find my booze. All I needed to do was sweet talk a few fey into giving it back to me.
I waved to the first one I recognized.
“Hey! I heard that Merdon returned the bottle you gave me. He and I are having a little misunderstanding. Would you be willing to return it to me?”
The fey shook his head.
“Merdon said too much alcohol poisons a human’s body, and all those bottles would make you sicker.”
“I’m not sick.”
He shrugged. “I already poured it out.”
I definitely felt sick, hearing his admission.
“Why would you do that? It’s not like anyone is making more.”
“Good. I don’t want to poison any humans.”
I held out my arms.
“Do I look poisoned to you?”
He studied me far too long for my comfort.
“You are a different version of the Hannah who Ghua carried from the RV. That Hannah swore and had fire in her eyes. There’s no fire there now. Only sadness, even when you smile.”
I understood then that I hadn’t been fooling anyone. Well, at least not any of the fey. I let my smile fall.
“Of course I’m not the same person. My world has been destroyed, and everything familiar is gone. I’m sure you’re not the same person you were either.”
“I am not sad; I am happy.”
“Sure. You gained knowledge of and access to women. What’s not to love about that? But what did humans get? Death and destruction. Don’t expect everyone to be as joyful as you. Humans were dealt a far shittier hand.”
He blinked at me, and I knew I was wasting my time, trying to justify myself to him.
“If you find any more alcohol, please keep me in mind.”
With a wave, I walked off to find the others. However, I received about the same response from all of them. They either poured the alcohol out after hearing Merdon say it was poison, gave it to Cassie to clean wounds, or just flat out refused to return it to me.
Frustrated beyond measure and feeling more than a little nauseous, I went in search of my last hope. Tor.
I found him lingering by James and Mary’s house. He straightened away from the tree when he saw me.
“I will not return the bottle,” he said without preamble.
I rolled my eyes and leaned a shoulder against the tree.
“Let me guess. It is poison and will kill me. If it’s so poisonous, why give it to James and Mary? Why let Cassie use it to clean wounds? It’s only poisonous in large amounts. And even though I had all those bottles, I wasn’t dumb enough to try drinking them all at once or by myself. You know the games we play at the parties.”
I could see a flicker of doubt in his eyes.
“I can’t, Hannah. I—”
“Are you excited for your date?”
His regret melted away, and he nodded, his gaze sliding to Mary and James’s house.
“I chose to go last so I would have more time to learn.”
“Learn?”
“Yes. I will watch my brothers attempt to win their females and learn from their mistakes.”
“Smart. If you want, I can help you.”
“You can?”
“Sure. We can have date dinners at my house, and you can practice on me.”
Stomach twisting and desperation clawing at my insides, I stepped closer to him and ran my fingers over his forearm.
“Anything you want to practice,” I whispered, my voice surprisingly steady.
His pupils dilated, and from my peripheral, I saw the front of his pants twitch.
“But I need something in return,” I continued.
His expression fell slightly.
“Hannah, I cannot return the bottle to you.”
“Not the same one, but you can get others. And you can control how much I drink so you know I’m not poisoning myself.”
His hand closed over mine, his fingers trailing over my skin before he gently removed my touch.
“I cannot help you,” he said softly. “Merdon is your best hope. I am sorry, Hannah.”
My lower lip trembled.
“Merdon is my best hope?” I let out an angry, harsh laugh. “Merdon isn’t trying to help me; he’s trying to kill me. And I wouldn’t be the first one he’s killed, would I?”
Turning my back on Tor’s shocked expression, I found Merdon watching me from several houses down. I hated him so badly.
“What was your friend’s name again?” I asked over my shoulder. “The one that Merdon and Thallirin