first sight? No. She ran. He persisted. That’s what you guys are really good at. Calm persistence. You just need to make sure that doesn’t turn into stalker clinginess. No girl wants that, ever.”
He gave a frustrated sigh.
“The list of what females don’t want grows, but there is very little on the list of what they do want. Food and for us to leave them alone. How does that help us?”
I patted his arm.
“It doesn’t. The best advice I can give you is to be yourself, but don’t act desperate.”
“That is what Angel told Shax, too. I hate lying. I am desperate. I want what Uan, Shax, Drav, Kerr, Byllo, and Ghua have.”
“Don’t forget Thallirin,” I said unhelpfully. “He seems pretty happy now, too. And his relationship also proves my point. Another rocky start, there. Don’t lose hope. There’s a girl out there somewhere for you.”
“But when will I find her?”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I paused at the intersection and looked up at Tor’s frustrated face.
“You’ve lived a thousand lifetimes in those caves and only a few months on the surface. So much has happened in those few months. You discovered women. Learned you’re compatible with them. And, there’s a high probability you can spread your immunity from infection to them. While I know all that is front and center in your every waking thought, it’s not in ours. We humans are living in terror of starvation, infection, and being eaten by hellhounds. It’s hard for us to think romantic thoughts when we’re so filled with fear, you know?”
He considered me for a long moment.
“I did not consider that.”
I hadn’t either until it was happening to me.
“Give humans some time. The longer we spend with you, though, the more we’ll start to see what each of you offer.”
“What’s that?”
“A future,” I said, thinking of Merdon.
Brenna and Tasha’s quiet voices drew our attention.
“What are you two up to?” Brenna asked, seeing me with Tor. “More running?”
I looked at Tor.
“Did you need to tell everyone about our midnight run?”
“I didn’t. I only told Shax and Newaz.”
Rolling my eyes at him, I answered Brenna.
“No running. Just walking around. It’s too quiet at the house.”
“Yeah, mine too. Want to come hang out with us? Tasha agreed to a sleepover to keep me company.”
I looked at the younger girl, smiling and happy, and felt a stab of pain and guilt.
“Yes, we would love to hang out,” Tor said.
Brenna smirked as I shot him a look.
“It’s no big deal if you’d rather pass,” she said. “You can still come with, Tor.”
Tor’s torn expression had me sighing.
“If I don’t go, you can’t go. Am I right?” I asked.
“I promised Merdon I would watch you at night. Shax and Emily are keeping watch during the day.”
Of course they were.
“Come on, Tor,” I said, not having the heart to deny him the company he craved so much. “You can study us as we have a girls’ night. Maybe you’ll learn something useful.”
I woke with a start, smothering my scream. It didn’t matter that I knew I was inside Tolerance’s walls or safely in my house surrounded by wandering fey. I still looked around my room, searching the shadows for infected, or worse, my sister.
My gaze landed on the chair beside my bed. Impulse had me pulling back the covers. I needed comfort, but there was none to be found in a vacant seat. I curled into a ball and remembered I was alone. Merdon had left me. Why, just when I’d started to need him so much?
Listening to the thunderous beat of my racing pulse, I tried to tell myself it would be okay. Empty shadows couldn’t hurt me. Yet, the dark corners of my room weren’t the only thing I feared. How long would the chair beside my bed remain unoccupied? What would I do if he never came back?
I closed my eyes and tried to think of something else. Anything else.
The evening I’d spent with Brenna and Tasha rose to my mind. We’d watched a movie and enjoyed some popcorn and soft drinks. It’d been so normal, something I would have done with my own sister, and it hadn’t hurt. Instead, I’d watched the occasional flicker of devastation that flashed in Tasha’s eyes between her smiles. Unlike me, her smiles weren’t faked moments of joy. She was finding what happiness she could. But, like the rest of us, she was hurting from all that she’d suffered. Her grandfather had been killed by the men who’d tried to take her twice,