Jackie, something Sain was supposed to do. He didn’t bat an eye at my “slip” though. Rather, he continued to focus on me as he considered my question.
“Do you think she will like more of those cakes?”
“Yep. But do you know what would really get her? Candy bars. Any kind. Any flavor.”
“Yes, I have those, too.”
“Wait,” Jackie interrupted, “You have candy bars?”
“I’m betting he has a whole bunch of stuff stashed at his house. They’re stockpiling in case they end up with a roommate. They know we humans like our food.”
I patted my tummy.
“Speaking of food…” I rattled off the menu for the night, poured her a healthy glass of wine, not missing Sain’s watchful gaze, and hurried to the kitchen.
“You didn’t let him pull out her chair,” Emily admonished once the door closed behind me. “They’ve all been practicing that.”
I waved away her concern.
“I gave him something better. I helped him seem interesting to Jackie and less desperate and clingy.”
Emily considered me for a thoughtful moment then sighed.
“Why didn’t I see that?”
“Because, like them, you’re trying too hard. Now, let’s hustle out some soup instead of drawing it out and making this meal as uncomfortable as last night’s.”
As I’d hoped, Jackie’s natural impulse for self-preservation had kicked in through the course of the meal, and she’d asked Sain if she could see his house before he returned her to Mary’s later. We all knew that Jackie was interested in a tour because I’d gotten him to talk about his food stash in front of her, but Emily and Mary didn’t care.
While they were still in the kitchen, cleaning up and celebrating with a few drinks, I wandered the roads, not yet ready to go back to the empty house. The alone time gave me a chance to think. This time, my thoughts weren’t entirely centered around me.
I couldn’t help but dwell on Jackie. She was probably staring at Sain’s hoard of food and asking herself if shacking up with a fey was worth it. The old me would have said, “hell no,” and educated her in all the ways she could get what she wanted without putting out. The new, healing me saw things a little differently. Probably because I was missing the hell out of Merdon and trying desperately not to think about it.
The man had forcefully wedged his way into my life when I’d been too sick to take notice. When I had noticed, I’d protested in mean and angry ways and received a lot of well-meaning lectures by people who’d made valid points. The fey weren’t bad, and they weren’t asking for much. Just our time and maybe a little consideration for their loneliness. In return, they gave us everything. Food, clothes, shelter, and safety, all at the risk of their own lives without hesitation.
I’d taken all that they’d offered in the beginning because I’d needed it. I’d given back my time and attention, never intending to delve deeper than platonic with any of them. Likely, Jackie would find herself doing the same. However, the need to survive wouldn’t diminish the feelings that would evolve on their own. Rather, it would probably fan the flames. It had for me.
A cow shifted in the shadows nearby, and I nearly screamed.
“Do you want to run again tonight?” Tor asked.
This time I did scream, smothering it to more of a startled yip. Even terrified, I knew better than to make too much noise.
“Sorry, Tor,” I said, noting his startled expression. “You came out of nowhere, and I was lost in thought. I think I’ll pass on the run for now. My legs are sore from last night.”
He grunted, looking disappointed. I could feel his loneliness echoed in my own.
“Want to walk with me for a bit?”
“Yes.”
He fell into step beside me.
“Do you know when your date night is scheduled?” I asked.
“It isn’t yet. I’m waiting. Newaz held out the chair and didn’t talk about her pussy, but Mila still did not like him. He thinks he should have just asked if she wanted to ride his face like a horse until she screamed his name. Do you think that would have worked?”
I died a thousand deaths on the inside but managed to keep a straight face.
“No, sweetie, I don’t think that would have worked. It seems to me that all our relationships start a little rocky. Look at Drav and Mya. They were the first, right? Did she fall into his arms and declare her love for him at