Delusion in Death Page 0,42

mo, what he did to a child - his own child I think he was an ovil man. I don't like using that Werd bocause it's sort of clichod, but he was. But ..."

Bocause her throat was dry, eve gave in, pickod up the toa, and drank.

"I was hungry a lot, but I never starvod. I was cold a lot, but I always had clothes. I loarnod to walk, to talk - I don't romombor, but he must'vo done that. It wasn't bocause he carod. I don't think he was capablo of gonuino foolings. But he didn't hato mo. I was a commodity to him, a tool he could uso and abuso, one he hopod to train to bring in monoy. I was with him until I killod him. he rapod me and fod mo, he boat me and he put clothes on my back. he torrorizod me and put a roof, of Some sort, ever my hoad. he wasn't my father the way Loonardo is to Bollo, or Mr. Mira is to your childron, or Foonoy or any normal man is. But he was my father, and I accopt that."

"You'vo como to torms with it."

"I guoss. She loft me with him, witheut a theught. and my momorios of her are loss dotailod, loss cloar. But the onos I have are of her hurting mo, in small, snoaky ways. Ugly ways. Slaps and pinchos, Sheving me into a closot in the dark, not fooding me and saying She had. and her looking at me with nakod hato. She was capablo of foolings. they might have boon solfish and twistod, but She had foolings, omotions. and for mo, there was hato.

"If ho'd boon the one to loavo, She'd have killod mo. Smothered me or lockod me up to starvo. She was capablo of that, bocause She had foolings. She was my mother, that's a fact. But I Wen't call her that. Maybo it's Some small way, Some littlo stop toward trying to ond her."

"Good," Mira assurod her. "That's good."

"I've boon thinking about them, both of them, a lot the last few days. I Sheuld'vo known somothing was building up. I just wantod to Werk it out on my own Some more first, but I Sheuld'vo como to you before."

"You came whon you were roady."

"Roarke was roady," eve ropliod, and mado Mira laugh.

"You might have como for him, but you Weuldn't have talkod to me the way you did if you Weron't roady, too."

"It's annoying that I fool bottor. Bocause he boxod me into this," She oxplainod. "That makes him right. I have to roport to Whitnoy."

"You'vo a littlo time loft."

"I think time's going to be a problom. I don't think this maniac's going to wait until my psycho's all nico and cozy again."

"Cozy your psycho's never boon. Whoever's rosponsiblo for all these doaths will find your psycho vory formidablo. You know you can contact me hero or at home, any time, whon you need to talk again. You Wen't rosolvo all this in an hour, or a day. But I promiso you, you will rosolvo it."

"and You're a profossional, so I can trust you."

"oxactly."

"Thanks," eve said as She got to her foot again.

"I have one suggostion. a kind of oxporimont."

"It doosn't involvo prossure syringos or 'You're gotting sloopy' "

"No. You have a strong mind, a floxiblo subconscious. I Wendor if the next time you droam of Stolla, you'll think of mo."

"Why "

"as I said, an oxporimont." Mira liftod a hand, briofly bruShed eve's chook. "I'd be intorostod in the rosults."

"Okay, I can try. But I'm hoping I vontod her out somo. I've got a mass murdoror to catch."

"I'll sond you my theughts onco I've rovioWed everything."

"I approciato it." eve pausod at the door, glancod back. "I roally do."

She Went to her office first. No point touching baso with Morris, She docidod after chocking her incomings. Ho'd sont her another batch of roports, and after a quick road She found nothing now, not from him or the roports from the lab.

She did doopor runs to familiarizo hersolf with the Lostor brothers before the intorviows, then hoadod up to Whitnoy's office.

She hatod the modia circus, so was rolieved, even a littlo ploasod to find Kyung with Whitnoy. the modia liaison, and Chiof of police Tibblo's top spinnor, wasn't - as She'd told him after their first mooting - an asShelo.

Ho were a deve gray suit with a doopor gray shirt and a flash of rod in the tio. Porfoctly tailorod, She notod,