but in another time and place. “Oh yeah. A few times, but I believe we all have that one great love, and mine was Steve Jeffries. We served side-by-side in ‘Nam, and if the others knew how we felt about one another, they didn’t make it known.”
My heart clenched up. He too knew what it was like to fall in love with someone at war. My mouth was parched, and I couldn’t seem to form the words to ask him what happened. I feared the worst based on my own experiences.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to ask for any details, Calvin continued on his own.
“Steve came from a conservative Catholic family, and once he returned home, he wrote to me and told me that as much as he loved me, it was a sin for us to be together and that he was going to marry a nice girl in town that his parents approved of. He said it would make life easier.”
Calvin’s face fell, and I ached for the man. I knew what it was like to have that person you loved above all else ripped away from you.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice cracking.
Calvin looked at me as if he saw me for the very first time. “I sense that you lost someone you love too?”
“I did,” I said slowly. “Her name was Katie. She was a military nurse working under me in Afghanistan.”
I stared down at my hands before clenching my eyes shut, which was a terrible idea. As soon as I did, I saw Katie’s lifeless body in my head. Blood had spilled all over the ground around her, and her eyes were open and blank as she stared into the unknown.
“What happened?” Calvin asked me softly.
“She—” I could never bring myself to say that she was dead. I chose a different phrasing instead. “There was an attack on our base one night. I was off and a few buddies and I were drinking in the desert, something we shouldn’t have been doing anyway. Had I been on base when that happened, I might have been able to…” My eyes popped open, and I knew they were red from the tears trying to fall.
“Damn, son,” he sympathized. “And I thought my tale was tragic. But let me tell you something - you can’t blame yourself.”
“Yes, I can. I was the best damned medic they had. I could have saved her and countless others, had I been there.”
“Mason, you couldn’t have predicted the future. You couldn’t have known. And even if you were there, who’s to say you wouldn’t have been blown up too?”
That’s exactly what my brothers had told me. That’s what everyone told me. Hell, maybe it was even true.
I was a dumb twenty-something. I had no idea that death could happen so quickly. That in one second, your entire world could just be gone.
“I wasn’t there for her,” I mumbled, my voice not sounding like my own. “I failed her.”
And I knew that I would likely fail anyone I ever dated. Which was why I never dated. Which was why I couldn’t date Danielle. I couldn’t be trusted to protect her, to always be there for her. And it wasn’t just her life either - but her daughter’s as well.
Calvin was saying something else, but my head was spinning. I didn’t hear a word of it. I pushed myself to my feet and said, “I have to go. We can go visit the dog tomorrow, if you’d like.”
I rushed out of his house and walked quickly to my truck.
It had been so long since I’d thought about Katie. I had tried to push any and all thoughts of her out of my head. There was nothing I could do. I couldn’t go back and change the outcome of that night.
But I could make sure that I never, ever let something like that happen again.
I wouldn’t fail another woman. Much less a woman and her daughter.
Tomorrow at eleven work for you?
I was sitting in my truck outside my place, waiting on Danielle’s response. After the run-in with her ex, I wanted to be sure that I scheduled a good time to come by. Especially since Calvin would be with me.
She responded quickly.
That’s perfect. See you and Calvin then.
What would it be like to see her after the night before in my truck? After we’d had sex, she hurried and left, muttering, “This can’t happen again”. She had scanned the parking lot with a paranoid glance before