I tried to eat a little something, pulling a box of cookies down from the cabinet and forcing myself to chew and swallow. They were Oreos, my favorite, but each bite tasted like cardboard and went down like a lump of sand.
I was tired but not ready for sleep, and the quiet of my little dorm was starting to make me antsy, so I kept the blanket draped around my shoulders and headed downstairs to the common room.
Maggie was slouched on the couch with the TV on, her feet propped up on the little coffee table. When she saw me, she scrambled to sit up, turning to me as I ambled over to the couch and sat down.
“Oh my God, Talia! Are you okay?”
I’d barely spoken to her since I’d gotten back to Oak Park, partly because she was usually with Leah, who was still ignoring me, and partly because I’d been too distracted by my war against the Princes. But I had missed having friends around this place, and the sight of her earnest, concerned expression made a lump rise in my throat. Her white-blonde hair was longer than it’d been last year, pulled back from her face in a ponytail.
“Yeah.” I brought my knees up under me again, rearranging the blanket so it draped over my whole body.
“Are you sure?” Her eyes were wide. “I didn’t see what happened, but I… I heard about it.”
Fuck.
“What did you hear?” I asked, not sure I really wanted to know the answer.
“I heard Adena pushed you down the steps in front of Craydon,” she whispered, turning to face me more fully. “And that you had some kind of… flashback. It sounded awful. Apparently, the Princes were super fucking pissed at Adena. Finn was in her face, yelling at her. And Mason carried you back to Prentice Hall. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch you.”
I steeled my heart against the emotions that wanted to rise up inside me. Mason had carried me back? So the fuck what. He’d probably just wanted to make sure none of the school admins saw me and realized what’d happened. And they might be mad at Adena for not carrying out their marching orders the way they’d intended, but that didn’t change the fact that they’d given all the students at Oak Park the go-ahead to bully me.
This was how they’d fooled me last time. With actions that seemed like they could only be interpreted as kindness, as caring.
But there was always another side to that coin.
At least this time, I knew to expect it.
“You’re really okay?” Maggie tucked a wisp of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear. “You don’t look good.”
“Yeah.” I chuckled humorlessly. “So I’ve heard.” I wasn’t okay, but I didn’t want to lie, and I didn’t really want to talk about it anymore, so I nodded and settled deeper into the couch cushions, turning to face the TV. “What are you watching?”
“Beverly Hills Cop. It’s actually pretty funny. It just started.”
We watched the rest of the movie, and when another started to play right after, we sat and watched that too. Maggie laughed out loud often, and even though I didn’t much feel like laughing, hearing her giggle made me feel better.
I didn’t do much studying that weekend. I didn’t do much of anything, really. I replayed my standoff with Mason over in my head several times, trying to figure out where the next attack might come from, what he and the other Princes would do in response to my refusal to back down.
On Monday, I headed over to the school buildings early and forced myself to walk up the steps of Craydon Hall—to remind myself that I could still do it, that I wasn’t broken. That I was stronger than my old fears. The left side of my body still ached, but the bruises would fade.
The halls weren’t crowded yet, since a lot of kids slept in until the last minute and then raced to first period. But even without the entire student body present, I could tell something was different.
Nobody hissed insults under their breath as I walked by.
Nobody jostled me or shoved at me.
Nobody called me trash.
A few kids tentatively met my gaze, and the ones who’d been the loudest on the attack seemed to shrink into themselves a little as I passed, like they were afraid to even get too close to me.
A writhing, twisting feeling filled my stomach as I stopped at my locker on