Defect - By Ryann Kerekes Page 0,38
the room, I’m distracted and on edge, and I don’t know why. I’ve never felt this way before. Maybe it’s just because he’s the one person here, other than Sam, who seems to be looking out for me, and I still haven’t figured out his motive.
Lexi reaches out and runs a fingertip across his palm. His hands remain open at his side. His hands that were once around my waist, that taught me how to hold a gun. An errant thought makes me look away. Is my interest in Will only because of the things he can teach me? Maybe Lexi’s interest in Will is more genuine, based on simple attraction, whereas I’m always trying to get ahead, to learn more, and he’s someone who can help me. She has no motives beyond her interest in him. A pang of guilt laced with jealousy rumbles through me. I remember in the hallway how his eyes fell closed under her touch. He and Lexi share a connection; he and I never will.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lexi turn and walk away from him. But I don’t look over. I won’t. The song changes and someone turns it up as loud as they dare. This must be a popular one, because a few people sway their hips, and others sing along when the words begin.
The rhythm is steady, and a man’s voice is singing about love. The beat grows and gets harder, all the instruments building together for the chorus. Feel like makin’ love. My cheeks burn when I hear the lyrics and when I look up, Will’s watching me again. His eyes burn intensely on mine, yet his face calm and composed. It’s overwhelming to have him looking only at me in a room full of people. I swallow and look down.
My heart is beating in time with the music when the chorus rings out again. People are laughing and singing along, only I’ve forgotten how to speak, how to even blink. I can still feel him watching me, and it does funny things to me. I’m more breathless and light-headed than after a run. I want to act unaffected and composed, but I can’t help it. My eyes flick to Will once again. He’s still watching me. He stuffs his hands low in his pockets, and his lips part in a small smile. It makes my skin itch the way his eyes freely roam over me. This time I look away. I don’t know what’s happening, but my entire body is humming with electricity and I don’t want it to end.
The whole song passes that way, with us stealing glances at each other. It seems like we’re communicating so much, only I can’t decipher the meaning. I pull in a lungful of air and release it slowly, but it does little to ease the tension around me. The weight of the moment becomes too much. I can’t take any more of his scrutiny, and I get up and head for the door.
Once it closes, I’m standing in the cool, dark basement alone. I rest against the wall and just breathe, trying to clear my head and slow my pounding heart.
A second later, the door opens just enough for Will to slip out behind me. “Sterling,” he says softly, trying to locate me in the darkness.
I don’t respond, but he knows I’m here. The sound of my ragged breathing gives me away. He comes and leans against the wall beside me. He’s quiet for a minute, and I’m glad he doesn’t say anything about whatever that was in there between us. I get the sense he’s always testing me, though I have no idea what for.
“I just want you to know, I didn’t give your file to Lexi.”
“No?” I challenge.
“I wouldn’t do that. It’s private.”
I don’t ask why, if it’s so private, did he have it in the first place, but instead, I ask the question I’m most curious about. “How’d she get it then?”
At this, he looks down. Maybe I’ve crossed the line. I’ve pried into their relationship, one he clearly doesn’t want me examining. “She must have taken it from my room without me noticing.” He shifts his weight so we’re standing even closer. Barely six inches separate us.
Of course I want to ask what she was doing in his room in the first place, but I don’t.
“I really am sorry, Eve,” he whispers. My name on his lips is the softest sound, almost like