Dear Daddy, Please Spank Me - Chara Croft Page 0,12
rolled her eyes. “Quit being superficial.”
“I’m not,” I said, even though… okay, maybe a little. And yeah, some of these old guys were objectively kind of hot, but you know that thing where some guys had Daddy issues and wanted one? I was the fucking opposite. The idea of getting with anyone who reminded me even remotely of my own old man made me want to puke.
“I’m just saying, maybe dating a guy who has his shit together and gets off on taking care of you—”
I laughed, cutting her off. “Okay, first off, you said ‘dating,’ and you know that’s not what I’m looking for.”
“But you could be,” she insisted, because sometimes she was literally the most bull-headed person in the fucking world. “And if you tried it with some guy who wanted to be your Daddy—”
“I had a Daddy, remember, Nic?” I interrupted, getting close to done with the whole conversation now for real. “Why the fuck would I want to hook up with someone else who gets off on telling me what a piece of shit I am, but wants to fuck me, too?”
“You did not have a Daddy,” Nichol snapped, actually looking pissed. “Greg Wendt doesn’t even deserve to be called a dad. He donated sperm and can now fuck right off. That’s totally different, Jordan. Totally.”
“Whatever,” I said, spinning my chair away from the monitor. “I gotta go, Nic.”
“No, what you need to do is click on No_Milk, tell him you’ve been naughty, and ask him to spank some sense into your ass tonight. Go on, boo. His status says he’s online right now.”
“What?” I said, scrubbing a hand over my face. “What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t like milk. It makes my stomach hurt.”
“I know,” she said, grinning again. “And it’s the least sexy username on the planet, but it felt like a sign? So I checked out his profile—”
“Oh, hell no,” I cut in, finally catching up. “Some kinky BDSM guy used ‘no milk’ as his username? Dude, that’s not lame, that’s like, code. I don’t know for what, but he’s probably into some weird lactation thing—”
“He’s gay, and boys don’t lactate.”
“—or he wants to do painful things to my prostate or some shit,” I said, talking right over her because just no. “I saw some porn like that once, with like, a machine? It wasn’t even hot. I mean, okay, it was a little bit hot, but there’s a ton of shit in porn that looks hot that I wouldn’t want a guy to actually do to me IRL. No way am I letting some old dude tie me up and torture my ass to get multiple loads out of me. You know how sensitive my prostate gets after I come.”
Have I mentioned that we overshared a lot? Speaking of which, hopefully this Scott-hole of hers knew about her nipple thing, otherwise, he’d be out on his ass before Christmas.
I almost grinned at the thought, but then realized that really would make me a bitch since Nichol seemed stuck on this idea of being serious with him. Fine. I hoped he was a kinky nipple freak who bowed to her every wish and had a flexible tongue, happy?
Nichol still wasn’t saying anything, but she was smiling way, way too big… and it probably wasn’t because she’d been able to read my mind about giving in on the Scott issue, since even she wasn’t that good. Which meant she was still stuck on this Daddy idea.
“What?” I grumbled. “I’m not doing it, so quit looking at me like that. Especially not with Old Man Milk or whatever his name is.”
“This one isn’t old,” she said, waggling her eyebrows at me.
“Is he hot?” I accidentally asked. Ugh, just a reflex. I definitely didn’t care. “I don’t care,” I said quickly, proving that point. But then, just out of curiosity, “How can he be a Daddy if he isn’t old? Please don’t tell me you want me to hook up with some dude with a different kind of kink. I already told you, no one’s using a prostate milker on me.”
Nichol rolled her eyes. “He seems sweet, actually.”
I smirked. “So… not hot.”
Her chin jutted out stubbornly, and the little ball of fur she’d been nuzzling made a tiny mewling sound. “He’s good looking.”
“That’s not the same as hot,” I pointed out, since it was true. And no, bitches, I wasn’t actually that shallow, but I was perfectly within my rights to fuck with