around inside of me like bouncy balls on a caffeine high.
Sebastian is sending me home. This is what I’ve been waiting for. I’m going home to my regular life, my regular clothes, normal people, and no more reality TV. Well, not on this side of the cameras, anyway. Penny is still borderline obsessed.
I want to go home. I don’t want to be here. I’m not interested in Sebastian. When I leave, I’ll never see him again, and never seeing him again will be ... what? Great? What I want?
I let out a heavy breath.
Part of me wants to go. No question.
And the other part? That’s the part of me I’m keeping hidden from everyone, the part of me that’s changing in an unexpected and alarming way.
It might be small, but it’s the part of me that wants him to ask me to stay.
Chapter 13
The moment of reckoning has arrived. Well, for everyone else, that is. I’m choosing to sit this one out. No one needs to be subjected to my singing, and it’s not like I’ve got a shot at winning.
And anyway, what are they going to do about it? Send me home?
We’re sitting back in the living room in rows facing a makeshift stage. This time we’re joined by Mrs. Watson, Sebastian, and Johnathan.
I catch Sebastian’s eye and shoot him a conspiratorial smile. He knows I’m not going to perform. He lifts his lips a fraction and nods his head in response.
Johnathan stands up to address our group. “We are so looking forward to hearing you sing this afternoon, ladies. As you know, the winner will be chosen by Mr. Darcy, and she will be invited to dine with him at a romantic, candlelit dinner for two.”
There’s a throb of excitement among the contestants.
“You should definitely pick me,” Hayley calls out, and Sebastian shoots her his stiff smile.
“We’ll just have to wait and see, Hayley,” Johnathan replies. “We have an order for the performances. It was decided when Sebastian pulled names out of a hat earlier today.” He holds up the top hat Sebastian wore that first evening of Regency dress-ups. “Literally.” He collects a piece of paper from his pocket and brandishes it in the air.
I look around the room at the eager faces. Is it just me or is this super demeaning? A bunch of women literally performing to gain one man’s attention. I know, it’s the way of these dating shows—Penny always loves this part—but when you’re involved in one it feels ... wrong.
Johnathan looks up from his list. “Your wish is a reality, Hayley. I’d like to invite you up to perform first.”
Hayley doesn’t need to be asked twice. She leaps out of her seat with a squeal of delight and rushes over to the stage.
At least someone’s enjoying this.
“I’m going to sing one of my favorite songs of all time,” Hayley says. “I think you’re all going to love it.”
Well, you’ve got to admire her confidence.
She bursts into that famous song from the kids’ movie, Frozen, telling us she needs to let something go. To my surprise, she’s actually quite a decent singer. Not that I didn’t think she could sing. I figured she was more about the fake tan, the fake boobs, and the highly competitive edge driving her to win at all costs. But then again, perhaps I’ve judged her too harshly? Perhaps she’s more than a caricature of a mean girl?
When she finishes her song, she curtsies to the audience, throws me a triumphant look, and mouths, “suck it.”
Yeah, I think I’ll stick with my initial judgement.
She turns her attention to Sebastian and beams at him. “I hope you liked it, Mr. Darcy,” she coos, all sweet and bashful as she looks at him through her lashes.
“That was wonderful. Thank you, Hayley,” he says.
Satisfied, she sits back down with her cronies, who pat her on the back and tell her how amazing she is.
“Surprisingly good,” I mumble to Kennedy.
“Meow,” she replies.
“I’m not being catty. She’s horrible to me.”
“Only because she sees you as a threat, Emma. You should take it as a compliment.”
I harrumph. “Some compliment.”
“Emma,” Johnathan says, snapping my attention away from Kennedy. “We would love to hear your performance. Please, take to the stage.”
I wave my hand in the air. “Oh, I’m going to sit this one out, if it’s all the same to you. But thanks for asking.”
His eyes shift to a crew member and back to me. “All the contestants need to perform, I’m afraid.”
“As much as