once. I watched as his breathing grew labored. As his pupils dilated and his cheeks flushed as I rocked back and forth.
Tanner’s hands ran over my body, admiring my every curve like an artist admired his muse. I savored the feeling. I took every touch into my heart and let it find in there a home. My gaze stayed locked on Tanner’s as pressure started to build in my thighs. I felt him pulse inside me. Even as I shattered apart, Tanner following me over the edge, I watched his beautiful face tense with pleasure, his eyes closing as his hands gripped my thighs. I was sure there was no one in the world who loved another like I did him in that moment.
And I was sure no one’s heart had broken so slowly, so painfully, that death seemed like welcome relief.
“I love you,” Tanner whispered. He brought me to his chest with his arms wrapped around my back. I held back the tears that were threatening to fall.
“Ti amo, Tanner Ayers . . . sempre.”
We stayed that way until I heard Tanner’s breathing even out. Careful not to wake him, I moved to lie beside him, staring at the bedside clock. Time was quickly slipping through my fingers. When I knew I had to make a move, I got up from the bed and quickly dressed. Going to Tanner’s desk, I retrieved the cable ties he used for his computer wires and moved to the bed. I took a moment to stop and stare at him in sleep. His face was free from the usual lines that adorned his face. In sleep, he was at peace and free from all the worries that I knew plagued him every waking hour of every day.
He was the most beautiful to me this way—unburdened. Not haunted by his past.
Seeing I only had a short time to leave, I first looped the cable ties around his ankles, tightened them, then moved to his wrists. I moved him gently, so I wouldn’t wake him. Retrieving the needle I had hidden earlier tonight, I placed it down on the nightstand, then ran my finger across his forehead to rouse him from sleep. Tanner’s eyes flickered open, and my heart started to beat a heady rhythm. I was nervous . . . and I warded off the devastation waiting to settle in.
The confusion of being awoken from a deep sleep meant it took Tanner a while to realize he was tied to the bed. He tried to roll toward me but came up short when his arm and leg pulled at the iron bed rails. His eyes suddenly widened when he tried to get to me and he found he couldn’t move. He quickly shed any remaining sleep.
“Lita?” he rasped in an urgent tone. His eyes slammed to mine. I inhaled a shaky breath. But I spoke. I knew I had to do it quickly, so I didn’t lose my nerve . . . so I could maintain composure.
“I have to go,” I whispered. “All this violence . . .” I shook my head. “All this death.” I shut my eyes, remembering Slash’s frozen face as he hit the ground from Diego’s bullet.
“Lita . . . baby, untie me.” His voice was steady, but I heard the hint of panic slipping through. “You’re upset and tired.” He pulled on his arm harder, the iron of the bed grinding under his strength.
“If I go, I can convince them to stop.” Tanner froze, and his head started to shake “no.” “If I stay, mi amor, he will never give up.” I cleared my throat. “I cannot do that to these people. To Mae and Charon, Lilah and Grace. Beauty, Phebe, Sia . . . and Saffie. Lord knows they have all been so much.” I thought of Ash and his dead eyes. Of Zane and the vacant haunted look he wore. I took a step toward Tanner and ran my hand down his stubbled cheek. He didn’t pull away. He seemed frozen with shock. “You have a good life here, baby. These men . . . they care for you. Tank and Beauty . . . they love you. They are your family.”
“Lita, untie me.” His voice was harder, and I saw the anger start to build in his ice-blue eyes. He yanked on the bars, but the ties held. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I touched Tanner’s chest, his face, and ran my fingertips around