everything. God, I wish I did. I only have bits and pieces, but he was so angry. He wanted out. He accused me of having an affair with you.”
“Holy fuck,” Sam muttered.
Garrett was still gaping at her like he couldn’t wrap his brain around the accusation.
“Jesus, no. We never had an affair, Rachel. I swear it. It wasn’t even a thought. Shit, you’re like my little sister. And it was always Ethan for you. Since the day you two met there was never anyone else for you. It was the same for him, or at least I thought so.”
“I don’t know what to do.” She hated the miserable, helpless feeling those words evoked. “He threw those papers at me the day I left for South America. I left with the knowledge that my marriage was over. And now a year later he loves me? None of that ever happened? How am I supposed to reconcile the two versions of our marriage?”
Sam sat down on the other side of her and put his palms against his temples.
“Obviously there is a lot I didn’t know—that we all didn’t know—about what was going on with you and Ethan before you left, but honey, it nearly destroyed him when he thought you died. That was not a man who didn’t love you anymore and who wanted out of his marriage. He grieved the entire year you were gone. The only sign of life we saw from him was the day he got that package telling him you were alive. You were his sole focus after that. Getting you back.”
She held her hands up in confusion. “I don’t know what to do. I know now that I never went to any of his family with our problems. I wouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t be here now, but I had to know if I’d somehow betrayed him.”
Garrett’s hand closed around hers. “You can always, always come to me, sweet pea. Ethan is my brother. I love him. But you’re family too. He doesn’t get a free pass just because he’s a Kelly. I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re alone.”
She smiled tremulously and then silently cursed when more tears slid down her cheeks.
The phone rang, startling her. Sam reached over to answer it, and she could hear Ethan’s worried demand even from a few feet away.
Sam looked over at her.
“She’s here, Ethan. She’s fine. Just upset. No, I don’t think it’s a good idea if you come over just yet. We’ll bring her home if that’s what she wants later.”
Sam held the phone away from his ear and shook his head.
“He hung up already. Guess he’ll figure out a way over here.”
Rachel gripped Garrett’s hand tighter.
“You don’t have to talk to him right now,” Garrett said. “Sam and I can toss him out and make him go back home. You get to call the shots here, sweet pea. Okay? You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“No, I need to know. I can’t go on like this. I need to reconcile the here and now with the past. Everything I’ve thought about my marriage since coming home is a lie.”
She closed her eyes to the pain those words sent through her heart. The idea that she truly was alone frightened her. The idea that the husband she’d come to love all over again was nothing more than a façade had the power to kill her when a year in captivity hadn’t. Had she survived the impossible only to come home and die a slow death as she watched her hopes and dreams wither?
Garrett pulled her into his arms and held her tight. He kissed the top of her head and murmured words she couldn’t decipher close to her ear.
“Hell of a day,” Sam muttered.
“All I can wonder now is whether it was a relief for him when he thought I died,” she whispered against Garrett’s chest.
“Shhh, sweet pea. That’s crazy talk. I was there when they told him. I was there for your funeral. I’ve watched him become a shell of himself for the last year. And I watched him when he held you again for the first time. I don’t know what happened before, but he loves you. He loves you.”
“I often wondered what went through his head when he came home after your miscarriage and found Garrett staying at the house with you. At the time I thought he was dealing with guilt over not being here with you,