kitchen sink and him with his hand on my face, thumb resting on my cheekbone. He wanted me to look into his eyes and now his face is all I can see.
Did I imagine understanding flickering there in his golden eyes before I said the words? His pupils contract and blow out. The darkly gorgeous expression on his face doesn’t change. It’s only his stillness that belies his shock.
My belly tightens. Maybe it’s not shock. Maybe it’s resignation, or disappointment, or horror. Maybe he is horrified by this news. All the possibilities run through my mind on a flickering reel. He could cover his face, grab at his hair. He could walk out of this room, out of this house, and never come back. He could rage.
Somehow, the wash of terror I’m expecting in this moment sputters out. Feeling comes back into my lips while I wait in this eternity of silence. I can’t feel it. The animal mind knows better than to let me feel it.
The weight of his silence grows with every passing moment. I can hear my own heartbeat.
He blinks.
He draws in a long, slow breath, then lets it out.
He does not take his hand from my face.
Once, only once, he closes his eyes, letting his eyelashes meet his cheeks. Then I’m caught in the gold fire of his eyes.
“You—” His voice doesn’t break but it’s a near thing. “You have a number of options.” He straightens up, planting his feet, bringing his other hand up to touch my face, to run the tips of his fingers through my hair. “You should know that they’re all available to you, at any time of your choosing. I have people on call to—”
“Stop,” I whisper.
“No, Brigit—” His jaw clenches, and I see how hard it is, I see the strain he’s under, giving me this practiced speech. Because it is a practiced speech. This isn’t the first time he’s given it. “No. Let me—Christ, let me finish.” Zeus’s hands tense. “I have people on call to consult with you at any time of the day or night. I personally guarantee your access to medical care including—”
“Don’t.”
“Including the option to—”
“Don’t.”
“—end the pregnancy.”
His eyes shine, and when he’s done speaking he runs his thumbs over my face again. The numb shock I’m wrapped in begins to unravel. One of us is trembling. I’m sure it’s me. He’s as solid as the earth. I’m a gust of wind, curling into myself and back out again every other minute, but he rules this room. This house. This city.
Me.
Even if he doesn’t want to. Even if he pretends.
“I don’t want to end it.”
He swallows, and the air between us shimmers. I have the strangest sensation that I can see beneath his skin to the jagged heartbeat underneath. The calm face—always a mask. “I would understand if you did.”
Now it’s my turn to touch him, the strong lines of his jaw. I run my thumb over his lips and he turns his head and presses the palm of my hand into a kiss. It feels ancient somehow, ceremonial, and my breath catches. I would understand if you did.
“You’re not like him,” I promise.
“You seemed sure of it earlier.” Fear flashes through his eyes and disappears so fast I’m not convinced it was ever there. “I wouldn’t blame you if—” He glances away, then back. “There’s still time to decide.”
“I don’t need time.” Certainty floods me like a drug, like a burst of adrenaline that doesn’t subside. I swear the room gets brighter. “I don’t need time to decide.”
“Brigit, there’s no need to rush—”
“I’m not rushing. Stop trying to convince me when I’ve already decided.”
“I have to,” he says, and he’s so close that the pain from behind his eyes spills over into mine. Well, let it. Other things have hurt worse. “I have to, sweetheart, because you can’t go into this blind to the person—”
I shake his head, pulling him in another inch. Get close to the fire, close enough that it burns. “I see everything,” I say into his mouth, the heat of him chasing away the last of the chilled shock. “I’m pregnant with your child, and I’m having the baby.”
He closes the final inch between us and kisses me, hard and deep, both of his hands wrapping around behind my head. It’s the kind of kiss we might have shared if we’d met in another world, where no one’s mother had died a tragic death, where no one’s father was evil incarnate,