He thought for a moment before answering, which I appreciated, even if I didn’t think it’d make a difference. “Let me make sure I’m understandin’ this. You didn’t come here because somethin’ is wrong, and when I asked if you were okay, you felt like I assumed that if you were here, it was because you needed somethin’, not because you wanted to be here.”
“Pretty much.” A second bitter laugh burst out of my throat. “So, tell me, how can that be the basis for anything even remotely healthy? And what’s the point, then, of even trying?”
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, then my cheeks, and finally, my lips. Each was just a light touch, nothing more, but they went through me in a way a deep, sensual kiss wouldn’t have right now.
“Listen to me, my little firebird,” he said as he took both of my hands. “I don’t care if you’re here because somethin’s wrong…” He stopped and shook his head. “That didn’t come out right. I want you to come to me if somethin’s wrong. If you can’t, that’s when I’d question why we’re tryin’.”
It made me feel better that he didn’t just automatically have the perfect thing to say. Less like I was always the fuck up, and he was the white knight. But it didn’t change the fact that I was fucked up, and Bradyn wasn’t. Having sex with someone, it didn’t matter what baggage I carried. It was just sex. But he wanted more. I just didn’t know if he understood what that really meant.
“Let’s try this again,” he said. “Pretend you knocked on my door, and I’ve just opened it.” He winked at me, diffusing some of the tension. “Nyx, it’s good to see you. Won’t you come in?”
“Seriously, Bradyn?”
He grinned. “What brings you here this fine evenin’?”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smiling. “You’re really something, you know that?”
He put his hand on my cheek and ran his thumb over the corner of my mouth. He was still smiling, but the light in his eyes had shifted from humor to something sweeter.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re havin’ a great day or a shitty day, if you need me to help you with somethin’ or if you just want to spend time together. There will be times I’ll have shitty days too or might need your help. That’s what a relationship is, a back-and-forth, give-and-take.” His fingers curled around the back of my neck, a gesture that was oddly comforting. “We’re equals in this, firebird.”
I wanted to believe it could be that simple, that Bradyn and I could actually do this, but I still had doubts. He was being protective now, but how long would that last?
“You haven’t answered my question,” he said. “What brought you over tonight?”
I gave him honesty since I didn’t have anything else to give. “You. I wanted you. Not for a distraction. Not because something’s wrong. Just because I wanted you.”
I couldn’t decide which was sexier. The heat in his eyes or the way his entire face lit up.
“Is that wanted, like past tense?” He was teasing me, but I understood what he was really asking.
“Not past tense.”
“Good.”
He pulled me toward him, crushing our mouths together. I grabbed the front of his shirt, letting everything else wash away. I hadn’t come here to use him to get past my mental torture, and I wasn’t going to let my few minutes of insecurity turn this into that.
Fortunately, I had a pretty good idea what to do.
I tugged at his bottom lip with my teeth, then pulled back to rest my forehead against his. “Be in charge.”
He didn’t move, but his eyes widened with his surprise. “Say that again.”
He was giving me an out, but I’d meant what I said, so I did what he wanted. “Be in charge.”
The trip from the couch to his bedroom seemed to both take forever and be over in seconds, but however long it really took, he carried me the whole way. Our mouths stayed fused together until we reached his bed, and he tossed me down with an abruptness that startled me.
I didn’t mind, though, because as soon as I was out of his arms, he was stripping, and I got to watch all that muscle and tanned skin appear like magic. I let my eyes run over a set of abs that looked like they’d been airbrushed, following that line of curls and those v-grooves at his hips down