It was Friday now, and she still hadn’t given me an answer.
I’d seen her, so I knew she wasn’t actively avoiding me. It wasn’t like she was ignoring me when we were around each other, either. She’d answer a greeting, make small talk during a meal. She even smiled toward me. Toward me. Not at me. I didn’t know if anyone else made the distinction, but I did.
I knew the difference.
I’d felt what it was like to have that smile focused on me, to be the person she looked to for comfort and safety…and sex.
Yes, I wanted more than a physical relationship with her, but I wasn’t dead. Sex with Nyx wasn’t like anything I’d ever experienced before. I didn’t know if it was because I’d never done the submission thing for anyone else, or if it was that the two of us just had a different connection.
At some point, we’d probably have bad sex. That was just how the odds worked. Honestly, I hoped that we’d be together long enough to have bad sex. And angry sex. And make-up sex…again. Romantic. Kinky. Vanilla.
I’d take her any way I could get her.
Thunder’s hard head hit my back and knocked me into the stall wall. When I glared at him over my shoulder, he gave me the most annoyed look a horse could muster.
“Thank you,” I said as I turned around and patted his nose. “You just proved my point. I know better than to go into a horse stall distracted.” I dug a sugar cube out of my pocket and held it out. “I know, I know. I should have given you the treat right away, and I let my mind wander.”
I patted him again before leaving the stall, latching it behind me. My last lesson of the day had canceled, allowing me to get the rest of my work done more than a half-hour early. I’d spent the past few evenings collecting information. I hoped to sort it tonight and then spend the weekend seeing what I needed to confirm and where to find that information.
For every dozen rumors I’d collected, more than half would prove false with only a few facts. Half of those would fall apart with more dedicated research. What I had left, however, would be exactly what I needed for my film. After I finished with this bit, the only thing I’d have left to do was look into my family. I’d done a little here and there, but I couldn’t put it off anymore.
I’d gotten some recognition for the last film I’d produced, but I had a feeling this one was going to be explosive. Before, the interest had been fairly localized. Around Savannah, it’d been big because people had known the family history, but it had still been local politics. Exposing the lies of the upper class, the wealthy, that was the kind of thing that garnered national attention.
I wasn’t in it to make a name for myself, but people needed to see the truth. How could we evolve as a people, move past hatred, if we denied its existence? No one was perfect, and I completely believed in forgiveness and that people could change, but the only way it could happen would be for us to be honest about where we’d come from.
The fact that I’d be exposing my own family also added an element of scandal that people would love. For some, it’d be proof of my authenticity, my willingness to betray family. For others, it’d just be the juicy, soap opera type shit that people just couldn’t seem to get enough of.
The work I was doing was important, but it didn’t stop me from looking over at Nyx’s cabin as I walked back to mine. It didn’t stop me from wanting to see her or wanting to hear her say that she wanted us to spend some time together before she left.
“Pathetic,” I muttered as I went inside.
I stripped as I walked to the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind me. Shower. Work. That’s all I should’ve been thinking about.
That damn woman had me tied up in knots, and there was only one way I could think of to clear her out of my head long enough for me to get absorbed into my work.
I stepped into the shower and ducked under the spray, closing my eyes as I did so.